Sunday, December 30, 2007

I Guess The Only Other Thing That Could Bring Cheer Would Be To See The Hot White Chick Bartender And A Hot Black Chick Customer Kiss Each Other On The Lips At The Bar ... Wait, Last Night Is Coming Back Into Focus ...

The Sioux collapsed in the third period last night and lost to New Hampshire. It looked like they might finally get a series sweep this season, but no.

What I needed to cheer me up by weekend's conclusion would be losses by the two teams I actively cheer against. The Vikings, of course, came up little and lost at Denver. Boy, they sure can run the ball on offense and stop the run on defense, can't they? Riggggghhhhht.

Even more unimpressively, the Gopher hockey team failed to beat the two Atlantic Hockey cream puffs they invited to their own tournament; losing to Rochester John Marshall Institute of Technology and tying Air Force. (A shootout win to award a third-place trophy doesn't count as a real win, so says the NCAA.) Gopher apologists will no doubt point to Kyle Okposo leaving to go pro plus the three players who are gone for the World Juniors ... but hey: it was RIT and Air Force. The RIT loss was especially glaring. According to the Strib:

RIT, a third-year Division I program without scholarships, had never played a WCHA team before. Never played on an Olympic rink.

Speaking of the World Juniors, we can now look forward to weeks of the Gopher faithful blaming any sub-par play on "being tired from World Juniors." Gopher hockey players are the only youngsters I know who suffer from jet lag for six weeks. And while I was ready to joke that at least they won't use the "team hasn't been the same since Tyler Hirsch left" excuse this season, the Grand Forks Herald's Sioux hockey beat writer points out how much Okposo's production diminished with Hirsch gone. So let's leap to the logical conclusion: If Hirsch wouldn't have been kicked off the Gopher squad last year, Okposo would have had a better year. This would have given him more confidence to become an even better player and team leader this season, meaning he would have fully committed to playing his full sophomore season. I hear the Gopher fans already: You ruined one season of Gopher hockey and might just ruin a second one. Damn you, Tyler Hirsch!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas Everybody

Marah's Christmas album is certainly putting me in the holiday mood. Great songs and Ray Conniff Singers-like cornball dialogue, with a alchoholidays twist:

Say, did you know that "wassailing" is an old English term for a night on the town boozing it up with friends?

Hopefully I'll have time for Charlie Brown before I head to my sister's. Unfortunately, I won't make it to the Jewbilee tonight. I heard Sid Hartman will be there.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

No Surprise Here

Once this afternoon's NFL games were completed, Purple faithful everywhere must have got a sinking feeling in the their stomach. Suddenly, if the Vikings won tonight, they were guaranteed a spot in the playoffs. Given the history of this franchise, the inevitability of the Vikings laying an egg was almost certain. And the result? Washington wins 32-21, and it was never close.

All-Pro fullback Tony Richardson lost yardage and was stopped for a safety. Tavaris Jackson showed himself for the mediocrity that he truly is. The Vikings' overrated defense did jack. The Purple couldn't run the ball, they couldn't stop the run. The Redskins stuffed the run, and were able to run the ball or gain yardage via bubble screens. (Something named) Todd Collins went 22-29 with two passing touchdowns.

So now for the Purple to make the playoffs, next week Minnesota must win at Denver and hope that Dallas knocks off Washington. Denver is never an easy place to win, and Dallas may be resting some starters now that they have home-field secured for the postseason.

The Minnesota Vikings: Tonight they were once again chokers on a national stage. Yep, the franchise has been restored.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

You See A Man With A Shovel, I See The First Step To World Dominance

My building's caretaker is out of town until December 26th. I agreed to shovel the sidewalks for him while he's gone. But the power has gone to my head and I have channeled my inner Al Haig.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I Am Not A Foodie

(And I think "foodie" is about the stupidest fucking new word I've heard in recent years.)

I was downtown today for my allergy shot and after walked over to Keys for a late lunch. I had the Denver Sandwich. The Keys variation also has cheese, but I don't think it had onions. It was awesome!

Also, this Keys (in the Foshay Tower) has a full bar and is open evenings. I didn't partake, but Denver Sandwich + beer could be a future rival for my affections to Brit's scotch egg + beer.
Best Flip-Flop Ever

I used to be against light rail because I took an Economics of Transportation course in business school and the professor was against it. But, as my roomies used to politically incorrectly joke around with back in those days: "He's not from this country and is not to be trusted." (Say that enough these days and you could be on the short list for the GOP presidential nomination.) When light rail came to Minneapolis, I ended up being against it because: 1) I never felt the need to go between downtown Minneapolis and the Maul of Amerika, and 2) It would invariably slow my commute from a St. Paul client (now a former client) to a near-Hiawatha-Avenue client.

But I now fully support light rail.

The good news is that the light rail hasn't killed anybody yet this month. (Shouldn't the saying now be: "In case I get hit by a light rail train" instead of "bus"?)

The better news is that once that Northstar Commuter Rail is up and running, I will never have to spend a holiday sober again. Here will be my new way to get to my sister's house:

- #4 bus from my neighborhood to downtown Mpls
- Northstar from downtown to Coon Rapids
- As I am told there aren't cabs up there, either my sister or brother-in-law "get" to pick me up at the train station.

Reverse course to get back home. My hands will never touch the wheel! First trains to run November 2009 - just in time for the holidays. Do commuter trains have bar cars?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


I'm watching Countdown With Keith Olbermann and MSNBC newsfox (they have a deep bench of these) Alison Stewart is guest hosting. But lately she's wearing her hair straight. Yowsa.

Monday, December 17, 2007

I Will Never Hear "These Eyes" The Same Again

I finally watched Superbad last weekend and it's the best teen comedy since Dazed and Confused, which was the best teen comedy since Fast Times At Ridgemont High, which is the gold standard. (And I feel I'm hedging my bets with all three of these movies by applying the "teen" tag to them.) Superbad is awesome, and lives up to the hype used in TV trailers last summer. Phrases like (I'm working on memory here): "Once in a generation" and "Will be quoted endlessly."

I had to stop the movie about halfway through to regroup, I was laughing so much. (This was during the breathalyzer scene.) In my three-plus years of Netflixing, it may well be the first movie that I hold onto to watch again. So yes, I will be one of those annoying people who just may refer to you as "McLovin." You've been warned.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Hockey, Da

Chad over at Fraters Libertas travelled behind the Iron Curtain to Russia and got a chance to witness a Russian Super League game. His post, complete with pictures and a short video, is a great read for hockey fans. Check it out.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Dwight Smith, Punk Loser

Dwight Smith was cited for smoking dope in downtown Minneapolis this week.

According to the police report, an officer saw Smith's car impeding traffic in front of Sheik's Palace Royale nightclub at 10:11 p.m. The officer approached the car and "smelled the strong odor of marijuana," according to the report.

This is the same guy who yukked it up on the sidelines while the Purple were getting blown out at Lambeau Field last month. Smith is one classy dude. The article mentions other incidents in his past:

- In 2006, Childress suspended him for one game after Smith was cited for indecent conduct with a woman in a downtown stairwell.

- While playing for Tampa Bay in 2003, he pleaded guilty to pulling a gun on a motorist.

- In 2005, he was arrested after being in a vehicle in which someone pointed a gun at a group of fans outside a fast-food restaurant in Tampa.

Also noteworthy in the Strib article:

The report noted that defensive lineman Pat Williams was at the scene as well, but Williams was not cited. Minneapolis police spokesman Sgt. Jesse Garcia said Williams played the role of peacemaker and identified himself as a reserve in U.S. Marshal Service of Louisiana.

How much of a punk is Smith that a peacemaker was needed in his dealings with the police? It's the Minneapolis cops, Smith is lucky he didn't get a nightstick to the jaw. Also: here you thought Pat Williams was a fierce run-stopping defensive lineman. Turns out he's more like Dwight Schrute, a former Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff's deputy.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Next Step: Draping Myself In Velvet

I'm going through physical therapy and we are encouraged to wear comfortable clothes to the sessions, which involve learning a bunch of new exercices. So for me, it's typically sweat pants and a teeshirt. I've been able to schedule the sessions on days I'm working at home, but on Tuesday I had to go to a client's right after therapy. The PT place doesn't have a locker room to change in, and I didn't feel like using the men's room. So I wore sweat pants to my client's. No big deal as her office is at her house and I just had to interact with her and her husband, but it still felt weird wearing sweatpants out in the real world. And since pretty much everything leads back to Seinfeld:

JERRY: Again with the sweat pants?

GEORGE: What? I'm comfortable.

JERRY: You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweat pants? You're telling the world: "I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable."

Come to think of it, I didn't shave today either ...

But hey - my inbox tells me I just got an accounting recommendation on LinkedIn from Tuesday's client. Sweatpants: Not just for the health club, physical therapy, and holiday meals any more.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

It's Not Often I Cheer For Comcast, But ...

I watched V For Vendetta tonight and found it kinda funny in the movie that the network that delivered crap, propaganda, lies, and fear-mongering was called "BTN."

Monday, December 10, 2007

The King And I December Schedule

10>Mon- Rockit Fuel! is: C-Gull, Heavy Metal Amy, Cecil Otter, Tanner & T-Machine
11>Tue- Lisa McGrath
13>Thu- Housekeeping with Brian Thomas
14>Fri- Irie X-mas with Dj Jennifer, Luke & Bro, Mary Cheesecake
15>Sat- JOBOT

17>Mon- Rockit Fuel! is: C-Gull, Heavy Metal Amy, Cecil Otter, Tanner & T-Machine
18>Tue- It Takes All Kinds... with Platetektoniks
20>Thu- The Saint
21>Fri- Mrs McFeelie, Natural Ice and The Underweight Lovers: Bjorn & Dave
22>Sat- FUN BOYS

24>25>Mon-Tue- CLOSED for HOLIDAYS!

27>Thu- Replicant Soul with Dj Tk
29>Sat- Brigadier Woodro of 3 King Sound System

with Djs: E-DAWG! & D.O.
*Full Menu 'til Midnight*Drink Specials*$2 PBRS All Night!*
*Reservations Recommended!*

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Stupid Subconscious

Apparently, I was so upset over the Gophers victory over the Sioux (and UND's poor play) last night that I had a dream that I was hanging out with Mitt Romney. Worse, I was being passive with him even though I wanted to quiz him on some stuff. I was sitting right next to him, close enough to get a good whiff of the snake oil. Ugh.

The good news is that I eventually woke up. And a pal came over last night for the game and came bearing gifts: I still have a tallboy of Sapporo in the icebox that needs to be quaffed.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Let's Play

Sioux vs. Gophers this weekend in Grand Forks.

Only two people out there will get this one, but ... after UND scores on will against Gophers, forcing Don Lucia to make a goaltender change; I can just hear Doug Woog saying: "The Sioux have sent Frazee packing for Vergas!"

On a note so strange that I can't decide if it's funny, fun, or just weird - Dean Blais and Woog will be playing each other in bubble hockey tonight. If coaching talent (and/or recruiting talent and/or motivating talent) is directly related to bubble hockey talent, then Blais wins in a laugher.

Update: Blais does win in a laugher: the homers at FSN didn't give a final score, but in the recap I saw Blais score at least four goals. Woog admitted he only got one shot on goal.

Update #2: Okay they gave the score later during the game. Blais 4, Woog 0.

Update #3: After being outplayed for forty minutes, the Sioux take over third period and win the game 4-2. I can see why refers to FSN as the "Friendly Sports Network." Tonight in the pregame and early in the game they went on and on about the Gophers' winning record vs. the Sioux in UND's new arena. Funny - they never mentioned the Gophers' postseason record in that building. I do have to give props to Frank Mazzacco for (correctly) referring to the fans at Mariucci Arena as "mild-mannered." Also, why does the Twin Cities media constantly refer to Jeff Frazee as a "big-game goaltender"? Outside of last season's WCHA Frozen Five championship, what big games has he won? He got burned big-time in the Sioux's game-winner in the West Regional final last season. What big games (PLURAL) has he won?

One More Thing: I predicted it to a couple of Gopher fans earlier this week and now I am doubling down. (If that is the correct gambling term to use.) In Saturday night's game there will be fisticuffs between UND and UM and players will be tossed from the game and suspended for a future game. My guess is Rylan Kaip for the Sioux vs. whoever the least-soft Gopher is. Both teams face off against nonconference opponents in their next games after Saturday, so there will be players willing to be suspended for a game.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Two Candles In The Window Tonight
I'm Guessing Jaeger Troops Aren't What I Originally Thought They Might Be

December 6th is Independence Day of Finland.

So today I went to the cabin in order to hang out by a noisy lake and didn't even want to take a boat out on the lake as it was too crowded. Tonight I got eaten by mosquitos, and watched fireworks that started when it was light out and ended before true darkness because all the little kids were whining.

Oh wait ... that's AMERICAN Independence Day. Tonight I can just sip a couple of beers at home while wearing my Suomi hockey jersey.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Perfect Timing

Today Kid Leo (not to be confused with King Leo) declared A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector to be the greatest rock 'n' roll Christmas album ever. No argument here. Today this postcard came in the mail from Roadrunner Records. I'm still chuckling.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

I Woudn't Buy A Used Car From This Man

I watched about forty minutes of the GOP debate the other night and had one lasting impression: Mitt Romney is a slick huckster and I trust him about as far as I can throw him. John McCain absolutely took him out behind the woodshed when the subject of waterboarding came up and Romney refused to take a stand either way on the issue. He is one creepy dude.