The Other White Shadow??

Every time I see NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, I think he could be the brother of Ken Howard.

New Twins Commercial

This commercial debuted during the Super Bowl. It's Michael Cuddeyer, Joe Maurer, and Justin Morneau taking their swings at the site of the new Twins ballpark. (Partially paid for by a tax increase that Tim "no new taxes" Pawlenty signed into law, it should be noted.) Nothing special or exceptionally humorous about the ad, but stick around for TK channeling his inner Seinfeld at the end!

I Didn't Know They Were Called The "Pipers"
(I Had To Look It Up ... "Pied Piper Of Hamelin", Get It?)

Patrick Reusse has a nice column about the Hamline hockey team's rise from worst to first in the MIAC. Hamline's coach is Scott Bell. Is that the same guy who captained the Gopher's in the mid-nineties? I looked up his bio at Hamline's website and sure enough, he is. I once penned this cheap shot about him and his Gophers:

Don’t count Minnesota out for the season, though. You will recall two seasons ago, when Colorado College was running away from the pack in the WCHA regular season race. The Gophers had a team meeting and decided that second place would become their goal. Their captain stood up and starting yelling that settling for second place was no way to play the game and that the team should fight for first place. The Gophers, inspired by their captain, rallied around his words and finished fourth.

Seems that his current team has a little Bell cause-and-effect in them also. A Hamline player recalls a game against Wisconsin-River Falls:

"We went down 3-0 in the first period," freshman Jared Hummel said. "In the locker room, Joe Long got up and said, 'I'm so sick of losing. We're not doing this again. We're not!'

"To me, that's what changed everything for this team. We came out and scored four goals."

But Hamline still lost the game.

In all seriousness, congrats to Scott Bell and the Hamline hockey team on their MIAC championship. Checking out a MIAC hockey or football game is something I think would be a cool thing to maybe check out, then a season ends and I have forgotten about it.

Little Steven And Kid Leo Have A Deep Bench

Like I've said before, the best rock 'n' roll radio station out there is Little Steven's Underground Garage on Sirius Radio. Since I started subscribing last summer, my fave DJ has been Kid Leo. His playlists and chatter have been great. All I know about him is that: 1) He made his bones as a DJ in Cleveland, 2) He introduced Bruce Springsteen on his infamous Agora Ballroom bootleg, 3) He plays up his Italian heritage in his show intro via audio clips from the likes of The Godfather Part II, Goodfellas, and The Sopranos.

The Kid has been out recently, though. The Underground Garage's site says that he's "getting hip", as in actually getting a new hip. (Ha! And you thought Dan Donovan was the only great old-guy rock 'n' roll deejay left.) So who has been recruited to take Kid's place? Glad you asked.

This week from what I've been able to check out it's been some dude from the Fleshtones, Simon Napier-Bell (used to manage the Yardbirds), and Dave Marsh (rock critic, check out his book on "Louie, Louie" please.) On Friday (today!) it will Mick Jones from the Clash.

And next Friday the 29th, Drew Carey will be filling in for Kid Leo! Turns out Cleveland kid Drew grew up listening to Kid Leo on the radio and is a big fan.

The Kid Leo Program is aired Monday through Friday at 3:00 pm central time. Fans of the Current don't know what they are missing.

Not Nine Lives, But Perhaps A Longer One For Yours Truly

Cats top dogs again.

A new study suggests cat owners are less likely to die of a heart attack or stroke than people who, well, don't own cats.

And no, dogs don't do the same trick.

The study, by researchers at the University of Minnesota, found that feline-less people were 30 to 40 percent likelier to die of cardiovascular disease than those with cats.

Yet dog owners had the same rate as non-owners. "No protective effect of dogs as domestic pets was observed," said the study, which was presented Thursday at the International Stroke Conference in New Orleans.

Dr. Adnan Qureshi, a stroke expert at the university, said he decided to raise the question because other studies have suggested pets can help reduce stress. He and his team analyzed a group of 4,435 people who had answered questionnaires about pet ownership and other risk factors.

But the cat-dog differential came as a surprise. "We don't understand this completely," he said, but "it's probably not a coincidence."

The Top 30 Rock Books I Own: #4 Feel Like Going Home

Title: Feel Like Going Home
Author: Peter Guralnick
Year Originally Published: 1971
Edition I Own: HarperPerennial 1994

What They Say: 1) New Musical Express, Rolling Stone 2) The editors of The Rolling Stone Record Guide (the first red one): "The essay on (Charlie) Rich is one of the best insights into the middle-level star's failures and delusions available anywhere."

Tuomala's Attempt At A Take: I think I bought this at the now-defunct Baxter's Books in downtown Minneapolis. I have fond memories of reading this while on the bus home from a crappy job. Books and music have always been good forms of salvation in times of crapiness.

Whatcha Reading?

At Reveille magazine, Jim Walsh asked some people what they are reading these days and published their responses. If they were to compile the repliers' names alphabetically, you would find "Tuomala" two after "Tosches." (holy crap!)

Anyway, the other night I finished David Halberstam's The Coldest Winter, his history of the Korean War. Highly recommended (c'mon: it's Halberstam.) Reading it may help you to better understand this scene from Back To School.

Not A Good Omen To Start The Week

So I just finished up doing one of my physical therapy rituals to help my back - icing the lower back for twenty minutes. I decided to lay on the floor, propped up on my elbows, and read a book while the ice did its work. I had Little Steven's syndicated show on KQRS. After a few minutes, I realized that about halfway through my icing, the show would end and KQ would revert to its usual programming. No big deal, I thought, it'll be the all-request hour. You've actually heard some good tunes during that. It's not like they will be playing the Doors or Eric Clapton.

So what did they play to start off the hour? The Doors FOLLOWED BY Eric Clapton. Arrgh! The ice was feeling so good that I didn't want to get up to change the station and the remote was out of reach. Eventually, I tried throwing a nerf basketball that was on the floor next to me at the on/off button on the receiver. Two tries (left-handed!) just missed but hit so that the ball bounced back to me. The third try (right-handed, my natural way, but a little tougher angle) was off to the left and only succeeded in knocking my Discwasher on the floor and leaving the ball on the stereo stand.

The Doors and Eric Clapton. Some things make a bad back worse.

Again, I Love Reusse

The Gopher hockey team is off this weekend, giving Patrick Reusse an opening for some patented cheap shots.

The Gophers are off this weekend, giving Lucia, his players and their smug followers extra time to contemplate how the college hockey program with the most money, the widest-ranging television exposure and its choice of elite recruits can find itself in seventh place and with six victories in 22 WCHA games (6-11-5).

I Heart Myself

Valentine's Day night usually involved some combination of Motorhead, the Stooges, Metallica, and Jagermeister but I can't remember the last time I did that.

Tonight was a fun combo: KFC, cheap red wine, Heinekens, and an all-time fave, Almost Famous, on TBS HD. (The commercials were actually welcome - they let me surf the movie on the web during the breaks.) I hesitate to make grandiose statements, but prior to me (finally) putting away those stacks of CDs and vinyl a couple of weeks ago, my apartment was starting to look like Lester Bangs's.

Mitt: Such A Bad Candidate That Fellow Republicans Hate Him (Google It)

I was so busy last week that I forgot to raise a beer to Mitt Romney dropping out of the presidential race, but thankfully things have slowed down so that now I can observe moments like this that make me feel a little better about the way our country will be headed once the Doofus-In-Charge gets taken home from day care.

This cold one is for you, Romney, you empty suit of a huckster. You won't be missed.

New Podcast Posted

Exiled Radio #16. It's all Bo Diddley songs and/or Bo Diddley beats.

Fuck Pet Sounds.

The Top 30 Rock Books I Own: #3 The Sound Of The City: The Rise Of Rock and Roll

Title: The Sound Of The City: The Rise Of Rock and Roll
Author: Charlie Gillett
Year Originally Published: 1970
Edition I Own: First Laurel printing - January 1972

What They Say: 1) Time 2) New Musical Express (and others, including Marxism Today!) 3) The editors of The Rolling Stone Record Guide (the first red one): "The most thorough and scholarly history of the music, although far from the breeziest read."

Tuomala's Attempt At A Take: Bought this at Rag & Bone books circa 2000. I've read it twice. It's study of rock 'n' roll's rise in the fifties - its different regional nuances and how the major and indie lables handled them - is invaluable.

Ron Paul Auditions For The Stage Presentation of Network

Chad over at Fraters Libertas posted my Super Tuesday Separated At Birth.

Props To Doug Woog

During one of the games this past weekend, FSN's Marney Gellner was talking about T.J. Oshie's special contacts that are custom-made by Nike. Gellner said that he needs these because of "his oddly-shaped eyes." Woog immediately spoke up and said: "Let's use 'uniquely-shaped.'"

I'm confident that Gellner meant no slur (Oshie is part Ojibwa) but as someone who because of the shapes of my eyes was called "chink" more than once while growing up, I have to give major props to Woog. Good job, coach.

Biggest Super Bowl Upset Ever

Yes, the New York Football Giants win over the Patriots was a bigger upset than the Jets beating the Colts in Super Bowl III. That was a case of the Jets being sold short because they were an AFL team. Today's game was a much bigger upset.

I could talk about Randy Moss being such a non-factor in this year's playoffs (at least he didn't come up with a sore tummy and leave the Super Bowl early like he tended to do for the Vikings in NFC title games), but I'd rather talk about Super Bowl III ... specifically why the only video on the web that I can find of the iconic Joe Namath finger wave is a brutal booleg version on YouTube. Years ago, I was easily able to find this video online and in fact captured a photo that I used for a webpage on my website. (Crap, I need to update that Exiled once again got zero awards in 2007.) I think the reason I can't find good video of the iconic Namath moment is the Stalinist nature of the NFL - they no doubt have people in charge of squashing non-sanctioned videos from appearing online. Great. Nice way to market your sport.

Ah hell, I really don't care about the NFL's stance on this. It's just that during Super Bowl time, I want to watch Broadway Joe run off the field, finger in the air. And I want to watch it all the time.

Super Bowl V Replay

I'm replaying Super Bowl V - Baltimore Colts vs. Dallas Cowboys - using the Sports Illustrated Football Game.

Coin Toss: Visiting team Baltimore called tails, it was heads. Dallas chose to kick off to start the game.

END OF FIRST QUARTER: Cowboys 0, Colts 0. This is a defensive battle - Johnny Unitas has been picked off twice and Craig Morton once. Neither team has entered the red zone.

SECOND QUARTER

11:40 Cowboys 3, Colts 0. Mike Clark kicks a 17-yard field goal for the Cowboys.

8:40 Colts 7, Cowboys 3. Johnny Unitas 5-yard TD pass to Roy Jefferson. PAT good.

3:40 Cowboys 10, Colts 7. Walt Garrison 1-yard TD run. PAT good.

HALFTIME: Cowboys 10, Colts 7. The Colts were driving and had the ball first-and-ten on the Dallas 17 with a minute-twenty on the clock. Unitas was sacked and fumbled the ball for his third turnover of the half. Earl Morrall off the bench in the second half? The Colts have had great field position thanks to kick returner Ron Gardin: he has kickoff returns of 55, 50, and 45 yards. According to Wikipedia, Anita Bryant performed at halftime for Super Bowl V. We don't allow homophobes on our stage here.

THIRD QUARTER

9:30 Colts 14, Cowboys 10. Tom Nowatzke 1-yard TD run. PAT good. (Unitas still in the game.)

3:00 Cowboys 17, Colts 14. Duane Thomas 16-yard TD run. PAT good.

END OF THIRD QUARTER: Cowboys 17, Colts 14.

FOURTH QUARTER

6:00 Colts 21, Cowboys 17. Unitas 12-yard TD pass to John Mackey. PAT good. (Who's the idiot who suggested that Unitas might be benched? He just led a masterful 55-yard scoring drive.)

FINAL SCORE: Colts 21, Cowboys 17. The Cowboys faced a tough decision with a fourth-and-long deep in their own terriroty and 4:10 on the clock. They punted and hoped their defense could force a turnover or punt. Unfortunately punter Ron Widby shanked a 26-yard punt and then the Colts ground game ate up the clock. Ball game.

Why did I go through all this when I could have played the game in under sixty seconds at WhatIfSports? The final score using that site was Colts 10, Cowboys 0.

Old Time Hockey

I love it that the Sioux were able to march into Marriucci Arena Engelstad South, push the Gophers around, and take three out of four points from them. This is five games in a row without a loss in Engelstad South. As for Blake Wheeler ... from now on he will be referred to as "The Breck Girl."

How Soft Can The Gophers Get?

Sioux and Gophers play to a 1-1 tie tonight.

Idiot Of The Weekend Award goes to the overrated Blake Wheeler, a prototype soft Gopher forward. Not only did he (as always) not play the body all weekend, he negated two Gopher power plays by being goaded by Sioux players into taking offsetting penalties after the Sioux had drawn a penalty. Fittingly, Blake (with a name like that, I'm amazed he's not a figure skater) refused to square off with Joe Finley - from Edina! - after the game. Blake, you're a wuss - have fun in the NHL, I'm sure they'll take it easy on a softie like you.

After the game, Don (Boy, He Sure Can Coach 'Em Up) Lucia said something about no punches being thrown. He obviously wasn't watching when Derek "Free" Peltier (6-0 195 lbs) of the Gophers had Sioux player Evan Trup (5-10 155 lbs) on the ice and threw two punches at him for apparently no reason (aside that the Gophers only take their shots when they easily can.) Trupp took exception and then so did the much bigger Brad Malone. Two on one ... and the rest of the Gophers stood on the ice and did nothing to help their teammate. S-O-F-T.

After the post-handshake mixup, reputed Gopher tough guy Stu Bickel was pointing his finger at the Sioux and talking trash. Funny - Bickel had nothing to show when players were going at it tonight and did not take up Finley's challenge to him to go at it at any time from earlier in the game. Stu: You're from Chanhassen. Next time you think you're a tough guy, pretend you're at the dinner theater and sing some show tunes. You are obviously more fitted to that than actually squaring off against a similar-sized Sioux player who will destroy you.

Final Note: The folks on FSN were whining about the lack of an "intimidation" penalty being called on UND in overtime. Along with the Gopher coaching staff whining about the Sioux playing tough-guy hockey, it just reaffirms that not only is Gopher hockey soft, their TV affiliate buys into that wear-the-skirt mentality. All I can say is: Golly people, I hope you don't get too intimidated in the future.

So Boring That Woog Was Entertaining In A Good Way

If I had unable to watch tonight's Sioux at Gophers game and you had told me that it ended with the Sioux winning 2-1 in overtime, I would have assumed that I had missed a classic. This was not the case. In fact, this had to have been the most boring close game between the teams I have seen in almost 30 years of Sioux hockey watching. The only time I got worked up was when FSN lost their feed late in the second period. (Way to spend that Murdoch money.) Both teams were mediocre and made lazy, horrible passes. Only the two goalies looked like high quality players out there.

But the Sioux won after they decided to show up for overtime and the winning goal was pretty freakin' cool. Of course I'll tune in tomorrow night - I just hope the Sioux show up.

And here's the Woog comments that were genuinely funny (and there was a third one that I can't remember):

After Frank claimed (no doubt tongue-in-cheek) that he and Woog cover both the Gophers and their opponents "fairly and down the middle," Woog said: "That middle line moves as we (the Gophers) are winning."

Woog on the start of a Gophers power play: "Power play with a small 'p'."

Update: Trupp's goal was SportsCenter's Play of the Day.

This Is Going To Be Huge Something Odd That I Do That I Will Likely Regret Once It's Over

What: Replaying of Super Bowl V (Original score: Baltimore Colts 16, Dallas Cowboys 13.)
When: Super Bowl Sunday, mid-afternoon.
How: Using my brother's Sports Illustrated Football Game, which I kind of inherited.
Who: Me, playing solitaire.
Where: My place, complete with live blogging of all scoring plays and quarterly updates.
Why: Why not? Why this specific board game? Let's just say I have some experience playing this game solitaire and rather enjoy it and leave it at that. Why this Super Bowl? I only have the 1970 season with the SI game.

By the way ... while surfing about this board game last week, I determined that SI's football game was bought by Avalon Hill, who renamed it Paydirt. The game eventually went out of print, but there is a cadre of die-hard fans who continue to make their own charts for each season or for certain (usually playoff or Super Bowl) teams. This includes someone locally.

I also found out (the Silver Surfer strikes!) that the reason the Cowboys were wearing their dark jerseys while being the designated home team is that back then the NFL dictated - if you can imagine the NFL dicatating something heh heh - that the designated home teams wear their dark jerseys.