Saturday, August 23, 2008

Preposterous

I just saw a new-shows-this-fall plug on The CW for 90210, the sequel series to Beverly Hills, 90210. Jennie Garth declared that the orginal series was "the first to deal with teens and the problems they face."

Hello! The White Shadow addressed teens and their problems over a decade earlier and like twenty times better. And who would you rather hang out with: The poor man's James Dean Dylan McKay or the irrepressible Morris Thorpe?
I Once Had A Small Cavity, He Said Novocaine Probably Wouldn't Be Needed. I Was Tempted To Say: "Grand Forks Is A Tough-Guy Town," But Am Glad I Didn't

I was getting a cavity filled on Monday afternoon. My dentist is a former Gopher hockey player. While he's working, he asked me:

"Have you ever seen that movie ..."

Omigod! I thought, he's read all those snarky cheap shots I've taken at the Foldin' Gophers over the years and it's payback time! He's gonna ask me if I've ever seen Marathon Man and then he's gonna go to town!

"Have you ever seen that movie Mr. Woodcock?"

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Fast Forward To 2009

AFC: The Jets attain a wild card for the playoffs and then knock off the Colts, Chargers, and Patriots on the road - all with fourth-quarter come-from-behind drives led by #4 Brett Favre.

NFC: The Purple are blown out 38-10 by the Cowboys in Dallas in the NFC championship game. Vikings fans flood sports talk radio for the next two weeks complaining that if the refs had just thrown a couple, three flags the Purple would have won. (Though some claim the refs shouldn't have thrown a couple, three flags; while others claim that the NFL "wanted" the Cowboys in the Super Bowl; and yet others are still whining about issues from the game the week before the NFC championship game that the Purple won.)

Up next are some historic, dramatic Super Bowl moments:

- In the week before the game, Favre, poolside at his hotel, guarantees a victory for his 18-point underdog Jets.

- It rains at halftime. Favre joins Bruce Springsteen for a duet of "Who'll Stop The Rain?" And then the rain stops.

- The Jets win the big game - it was never really that close - and Favre runs to the tunnel, right index finger in the air. A classic image, NFL Films can't get enough of this one.

- In the post-game press conference, Favre tearfully announces his retirement ...

Monday, August 04, 2008

Homicide And Class Warfare

So season five of Homicide is turning out to be just as awesome as season four. And I really like the attitudes of the detectives when dealing with the rich folk. In one episode, Elijah Wood plays a smarmy prep-school kid. Bayliss calls him a "punk" to his face and later damn near slaps him up in the box.

In a later episode, Lewis and Pembleton get some richie in the box. He's one of those Eastern bluebloods, you know the type: Talks like he's a freakin' Brit and not an American, says "cannot" instead of "can't", "had forgotten" instead of "forgot", and pronounces "happen" like "hoppin'." His voice to me was like fingernails on a chalkboard, but then we had the ever-eloquent Frank Pembleton sounding like a real person when he said "drawin' blood, checkin' for scratches." And the soothing sounds of Meldrick Lewis's voice was amazing - dropping his g's and saying things like "She didn't tell ya?" and "See if dat diamond ring don't turn up, huh?"

And the ever-likeable Clark Johnson as Lewis is stealing scenes left and right this season with his one-liners. In this episode where he's teamed up with Pembleton, he says: "Cut me some poetic slack, won't ya Frank?"