Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Now What Do I Do?

Today I finished watching the entire series run of Homicide: Life on the Street. I started with it exactly eight months ago and have done the math: 122 episodes, meaning that I averaged viewing an episode every other day. I loved this show so much: the characters, the writing, the dialogue. No wonder this is only the second show where I had dreams that I was part of the show, or to be more precise: I had dreams where the show was reality and I was part of the homicide squad. (The only other show I've dreamt about in this way? The White Shadow, of course.)

Tonight I watched Homicide: The Movie, which came out nine months after the series' end. "The one case so important, every detective is back." Stan Bolander, Kay Howard and Frank Pembleton all return, and the Bayliss/Pembleton umm, partnership/friendship is finally reconciled.

It's too bittersweet of an evening to write about this show in any way of quality, instead I'll drop a couple of quotes from the final season and the movie:

"I'm too damn sober." - John Munch

"Guys like you and me? Work is where we shine." - Stan Bolander

Sunday, December 28, 2008


The Vikings were almost beat by Slingin' David Carr and the New York Football Giants, but actually won and advanced to the playoffs. It's no substitute for a Purple choke job, but watching the Dallas Cowboys lose their last two games has been rather enjoyable (sorry, Joel.)

Last week they gave up those two long runs late in the game against Baltimore. Very funny. Today in their "effort" against Philadelphia they got blown out by 38 points. Hilarious.

I'm sure everybody is quick to blame the late-season woes of Tony Romo, Wade Phillips losing his team, and also the antics of Terrell Owens. I have an easier explanation: it's the Curse of the Pacman. Adam "Pacman" Jones is maybe the most despicable person in sports, just read his legal troubles section at Wikipedia. For some reason, the Cowboys just had to have him this season and they went from being last season's NFC East champions and a preseason fave pick a few months ago to win the Super Bowl to being out of the playoffs. Pacman also fumbled away a kickoff return late in the first half today, allowing the Eagles to kick a field goal as time ran out.

The team that traded away Pacman? The Tennessee Titans went from being 10-6 and a wild card last year to being 13-3 and the #1 seed in the AFC this year.

Fire Wade Phillips? Sure, you just know Jerry Jones is gonna do it this week. Dumping the Pacman would be an even better move.

Saturday, December 27, 2008


There was nothing better to wash down the Sioux's loss to Michigan State tonight (UND has once again found away to shoot pucks right into the middle of the goalie's chest) than catching the last couple hours of Miracle on ABC. ABC? Yep, that's right. The same network that refused to show the USA vs. USSR 1980 medal round Olympic hockey game live. Anybody who tells you they saw that game live on TV is lying or had a Canadian TV feed.

Miracle? The always-underrated Kurt Russell was amazing. I'll take a solid Russell performance over a histrionic Nicholson one every time. And don't forget Noah Emmerich, who didn't have to say much because his facial expressions said it all.

And here's the thing. If you have a couple of rye and gingers in you before you sit down to watch Miracle, your allergies will act up. Ragweed in December? Yeah, it sounds strange, but when Ralph Cox got cut my eyes started watering. Same during the aftermath of the game against the Soviets and especially during the medal ceremony post-national-anthem everybody-on-the-medal-stand moment. Know your dosage or your cheeks will get wet with tears.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Vikings Choke Job Checklist

League's best running back fumbles three times and loses two? Check.

Last week's NFC offensive player of the week fumbles twice, loses one, and lets a snap go over his shoulder? Check.

Team's best receiver fumbles away a punt return, actually not a so much a return as letting it bounce off his numbers? Check.

A finally improved defense ineffective? Check.

Sorry, Purple fans, you are going to have to cheer for Green Bay to beat Chicago tomorrow night or Houston to do it next week as you know if the Vikings have to win a game to make it to the playoffs, they're not going to do it.

Also: Very enjoyable article reminiscing on the Purple's glorious choke job against the Falcons ten years ago. (If they win that game, they get destroyed by the Broncos in the Super Bowl anyway!)

And: Reusse catches up with the Weeping Blondes, who are even hotter with age.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Greatest Running Back Ever?

I was asked yesterday, if "Gail/Gale" could be a man's name. I automatically said "Gale Sayers", which fell on deaf ears. Oh well, it gave me an excuse to look up Sayers highlights on YouTube.
What A Genius

During the UND vs. Harvard hockey webcast, the Crimson's color guy stated during the game that both teams were doing better on their penalty kills than at full strength, his reasoning being that the skaters had more room to move. Then with under a minute left and Harvard trailing by a goal, they pulled their goalie for an extra skater. Color guy unleashed this gem:

"I don't know how much of an advantage this will give them."

And he once again brought up the "room to move" theory. If this guy is a Harvard alum, they should revoke his diploma.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Just Like How Jeff Is The Only Beck That Matters

I just heard a great Rufus song, "You Got The Love", on Sirius, so I went to see what Rufus stuff they have at the iTunes store. But you type in "Rufus" and what does it pull up? Doofus Wainwright.

I want Apple punished to the full extent of the law.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

I give thanks for Patrick Reusse, the best writer in the Twin Cities. Today's Strib had his annual Turkey of the Year column, in which Don Lucia was a runner-up:

He coached the Yankees of college hockey to seventh in the WCHA, then ran off assistant Mike Guentzel as the scapegoat. In mid-September, Lucia was a warmup speaker for a John McCain-Sarah Palin rally -- with polls at the time indicating Minnesota was a tossup.

For now, Lucia is strutting about with the No. 1-rated team in the country. Yet, no matter past and future glory, The Don will never be able to change this: He's the Gophers hockey coach who finished an amazing seventh in the WCHA and helped the Republican ticket to a 10-point defeat in Minnesota in the same calendar year.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

How Do You Say "Consider My Mind Blown" In Spanish?

Found while egosurfing: My essay Best Band in the Land ... in Spanish.

I used Google Translate to determine what the intro says. (Hey, it has my name in it - you knew I'd die of curiousity if I didn't try to figure it out.) It reads:

Sometimes the truth has been so distorted that to talk about it an accurate invent a story. And unfortunately on the rocanrol have been dumped so many phrases sententious that what we really should care, music, is the substance of all the verbiage. Today it is dance-punk, progressive-house yesterday morning and secure the cumbia-industrial-pre-Hispanic ... At the same sector of the criticism of rock that has developed a musical based on the division of schizophrenic genres that separate the "honest "From the" sold "interested in the sordid biographies and anecdotes curious than artistic merit. How should we be surprised? After all, and Salman Rushdie has said that the rocanrol is very close to a mythology of our day. In any case, it appears that Bill Tuomala, author of the text to read below, originally published in the journal Exiled on Main Street number 27 and included in the anthology Da Capo Best Music Writing 2003 (with curating the creator of The Simpsons, Matt Groening) - felt that to rescue one of his favorite bands from the claws of the big trends of demiurge, should use their own jargon, to rewrite history with a little story put out of the kingdom's setback, recreating the myth of a band called Van Halen. The version at the Castilian, of course, courtesy of Erre.
Time To Get My Band, The Recount Five, Going Again

I feel the same way as Chad over at Fraters Libertas does about the Franken/Coleman recount:

For the reality is that no matter how much someone claims to know about what's happening and what the end result of all this be, no one really knows who's going to emerge the victor or whether the events of any particular day really matter or not.

And after the recount is over, the inevitable ugly legal proceedings will kick in, and the recount will eventually be decided by the Minnesota Supreme Court.
Tuomala 'Fesses Up To Mancrush, Obama Wants You To Get To Work

My senior year roommate at UND had a poster of a smiling Ronald Reagan above his bed, meaning every morning I'd get out of my bed and see Grandpa Ronnie grinning at me. Ugh. Geez, I'd think, who'd want a poster of a president on their wall? I'd only had sports stars and the hot chicks in those free posters you'd get from the booze distributors on my walls. The day that the Iran-Contra scandal story broke, my roomie took the poster down and put up a hot chick instead.

But a couple of weeks ago my pal Def Jeff made this photo into a poster and it's going up on my living room wall. USA! USA! USA!

(And on the day after Obama rolled out his economic team, two of my clients who were behind on their payments paid up. Coincidence?)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Game 6

Last night I watched Game 6, a movie I had never heard of until I read Don DeLillo's entry at Wikipedia. It deals with a playwright, played by Michael Keaton, who has life-long been obsessed with the Red Sox. It just so happens that his latest play is opening on the same night of game six of the 1986 World Series. The writer skips his own opening to go watch the game in a bar. Keaton's ability to run down a team (and hence himself, for always cheering for them) makes him the actor who could best potray the futility of rooting for a team who continually lets you down. His ongoing misery and its accompanying sarcasm is remarkable:

"Twenty-four game winner pitches seven solid innings. They scratch out a one-run lead. (Shrugs) Of course he gets a blister."

"Sure. Of course you put Greenwell up when you got Baylor on the bench!"

"Of course Greenwell strikes out!"

The movie clocks in at under ninety minutes. Solid.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

"Coffee Is For Closers."

Alec Baldwin being totally fucking awesome in Glengarry Glen Ross.

To my twenty-something friend who once said Charlie Kaufman is the greatest screenwriter ever: Check out David Mamet. (And a century's worth of other great screenwriters.) Oh, and for funny movies Harold Ramis tops Kaufman and it's not even close.

As to Baldwin's performance: I once was told that I sounded like "a fucking faggot" by some asshole client rep back when I had a real job. And you wonder why I don't look at the construction industry with such "it gets in your blood" wonder.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Russian Player: We very much like Elton John in the Soviet Union.
Curtis Jackson: I'm into the Funkadelic myself.
Russian Player: Funkawhat?

A few weeks ago I bought Funkadelic's second album, today I got their debut one.

In Rock Dreams, Jimi Hendrix famously tells a New York Times reporter that he's from Mars. Which leaves me wondering exactly what planet Funkadelic was from. These albums are quite the trip...
The Charms Of Northeast

I work at a client's in Northeast Minneapolis every Tuesday late afternoon. Every few weeks, the paperwork pile is such that I'm there past six p.m. These days are unique for mel as there is a church in the neighborhood that rings its bells every day at six p.m.

It's hard to put into words, but the sound of these bells is quite special. I have nothing like it here in my south Minneapolis neighborhood. There is a church that rings its bells on Sunday morning, but I'm not up until the crack of noon on weekends. And the civil defense siren on Wednesdays at 1 p.m. is only comforting in that we know that the thing works in case of emergency.

The church bells in Northeast have a mystical quality that is soothing, calming. Here's to working late every once in a while.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Nothing Matters But The Weekend From A Tuesday Point Of View

Tonight while working out, I decided that this Saturday night I should finally blast some loud music, drink some Heinekens, and have some fun ... instead of thinking about doing it and then watching college football, dinking around on the computer, and then listening to Bachman-Turner Overdrive before turning in. The options, so far:

1) Get out my soul/funk/R&B music and have a Saturday night dance party.

2) Get out the heaviest and sludgiest of my metal music, head bang, and pretend I've taken those downs-like allergy pills from the early nineties.

3) Get out my Dolls, 'Mats, Dead Boys, Yardbirds, Nuggets, Mott, Stooges, Run Westy Run, Faces and have a guitar/punk/proto-punk/swagger/have-a-few-then-play noisefest.

Come to think of it, putting these in rotation is an even better idea.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

"Kobe works well when he remains poised and trusts the triangle offense," Jackson added.

"We see the election of a black president, and Pau Gasol's good shooting night, as a positive sign of things to come," Lakers head coach Phil Jackson said. "It's still early in the season, and there are a lot of things we need to work on, but I'm a product of the '60s, a baby boomer, so I'll blame our lull in the third quarter on me thinking back to the race riots during the civil rights movement, the assassination of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., and the separate but equal laws that plagued this nation, and how I thought then that in a million years we would never elect a black president. The fact that I am even saying these words is pretty fucking incredible."

Said Lakers forward Barack Obama to the entire world on his team's victory: "Yes, we can."

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Running Up The Score

Barack Obama has unofficially won North Carolina; meaning he channeled his inner Steve Spurrier, viewed the McCain campaign as the Georgia Bulldogs, and during a blowout victory called a time-out with thirty seconds left in the game so that he could run a flea-flicker for a touchdown.
Today On The Radio

1) On KFAN, The Comman Man opened with "Lovely Day" combined with parts of Barack Obama's speech last night. Then Common went on to wonder when the rich people will start mailing us checks.

2) On Sirius Soul Town, heard back-to-back: "This Is My Country" by The Impressions and "Funky President" by James Brown.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Chris Berman Interviews The Candidates

It was on Monday Night Football last night. While these are "feel good" interviews, there was something I drew from each interview:

1) Obama called for an eight-team playoff in college football. If elected, he'll have his hands full but a presidential bully pulpit on this issue would be awesome.

2) McCain, who I generally find overrated as a humorist, was great with: "He. Could. Go. All. The. Way."

Note: These interviews are a couple of minutes longer than the ones that aired last night.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

How I Spent My Vacation

Actually, it was a staycation.

Too much MSNBC.

Not enough of Esquire and Mojo.

Dealing with stupid ongoing back trouble. Geez this crap gets old.

Finally got over my fear of "One Tin Soldier", a song that had freaked me out since I was six years old.


Wild Turkey Rye! It's like ten bucks more per bottle than Old Overcoat but so tasty and has a nice little kick to it. Decisions, decisions. (As for Jim Beam Rye, don't bother.)

Deep-ball poetry after ground-game prose wasn't working at all.

Teena Marie, Stargard, Funkadelic, Kool and the Gang, War, Roy (not Bill) Ayers, Parliament, Rufus, The Impressions, Earth Wind & Fire, The Ohio Players, and many more. Glad I did some exploring on the Sirius radio and dug some dust-gathering albums out of the collection.

And aside from the previous-post-mentioned pizza and beers with Bob on the night I started my staycation (which - hello IRS - was a business meeting, I do his books), I stayed out of the bars! Congrats to those who bet the "under"!

Saturday, November 01, 2008

FSSN On The NHL Network

Friday night's North Dakota vs. Wisconsin hockey game was carried live on the NHL Network, using the Fighting Sioux Sports Network (FSSN) (in Grand Forks this is found on WDAZ channel 8) feed. Observations:

1) The FSSN obviously used portions of the between-periods intermissions as a recruiting tool. After the first period, Tim Hennessy gave a short tour of the glorious Ralph Engelstad Arena. After the second period, Ryan Martens provided a little overview of the NHL walls outside the Sioux's locker room - reminders of how many players the Sioux have put in the NHL over the years.

2) NHL Network fans who have never seen a FSSN broadcast got a feel for play-by-play man Pat Sweeney. He used to bore me, but I was used to the (almost-always enjoyable) histrionics of Frank Mazzocco on Gopher TV broadcasts. Now I find Sweeney to be a smooth, understated guy in the booth. Throw in the dry wit and some out-of-leftfield references (the constant phrasing of Jordan Baker's first and last name last season sealed it), and now Sweeney is my guy. Tonight's line was in regards to Badger player John Mitchell, who he once referred to as "Attorney General John Mitchell."

3) Unfortunately, the NHL Network went with their own ads at commercial breaks, so NHL Network fans weren't subjected to the amazingly catchy Home of Economy jingle. (Note: John McCain once had a map to the Home of Economy, but he threw it out the window as he couldn't read the map.)

4) I love it that people across North America tuning in the NHL Network were informed by Sweeney that Kittson County Central knocked off Stephen-Argyle in the Minnesota Section 8 Nine-man championship game. Stephen-Argyle had a 76-game winning streak on the line. (This game was played in the Alerus Center in Grand Forks, gotta love the cross-border help.)

Hats off to WDAZ for continuing to care about the northeastern North Dakota / northwestern Minnesota area. This local coverage got personal last summer when I was up at my parents' cabin an hour east of Fargo. It was a Friday afternoon and a tornado warning in the area and WDAY (WDAZ's sister station in Fargo) was the only one who had a weather guy live tracking the nasty weather and said a tornado had touched down a few miles away from me. I tuned in KVLY and KXJB out of Fargo and they were showing crap like Orpah and Access Hollywood. Oh, and three other tornadoes touched down in northwestern Minnesota that afternoon also, so it's obvious WDAY and WDAZ are the only stations that care about the safety of the residents in the Red River Valley area.

And to add insult to injury to KVLY and KXJB ... my sister, who was in EASTERN WISCONSIN that afternoon, called the cabin to make sure everybody was okay after seeing on TV that a tornado had touched down in the area. People in Wisconsin were getting better weather info than people watching channels 4 and 11 in the Fargo area!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Joe The Silly Campaign Symbol

Johnson over at Fitted Sweats sums up the John McCain/Joe the Plumber relationship perfectly: "Get a room already!"

Yesterday, Joe stood up McCain at a rally. Hilarious. Joe claims he didn't know he was supposed to be there. Boy that McCain campaign is seamless, ain't it?

Joe the Plumber comes off as the sort of dimwit who would buy that business and then run it into the ground within three years via running up his business credit cards by: 1) Charging needless "business expenses" such as starting a company softball team and buying top-line uniforms and equipment for them ... thing is his company only has three employees so the rest of the squad is made up of his beer-drinking buddies. Oh, and he would probably also charge costs incurred at gentlemens' clubs as "entertainment" and would sometimes forget to bring a client. 2) Charging all kinds of personal expenses like Friday night pizza deliveries to his home and his Netflix account ("can't get enough of that Joe Dirt!") and claiming that it's justified because "I think about this business day and night."

Then after bankruptcy, he would sit at the bar drinking Michelob Golden Draft Light and grouse about how severely taxed small businesses are.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Slacking Works?

I had pizza and beers with my college buddy Bob last Friday. We figured out that major slacker non-decisions I went with while in my twenties and employed with a salaried real job have worked out. To wit:

1) I didn't buy a house. If I had, it'd be worth less today and I'd be depressed.

2) I didn't put as much into my 401(K) as I could have. Sure, the market may rebound but more money in my 401(K) would have meant that last Friday when I got my third quarter statement in the mail it would have been even more depressing because I would have lost more money than I actually did.

3) I turned down a lateral career move that would have transferred me to Los Angeles. To get ahead in that company in accounting you had to move around the country. Turning down such career opportunities meant staying here in the Twin Cities, which is even more important to me these days: If the economy totally tanks, I'm glad to be twenty miles away from a potential home in my sister's basement.
"We're All Keynesians Now"

Justin Fox in the most recent Time magazine on the "we're comin', we're comin'" of Keynesian economics.
Esquire Names Michele Bachmann Top Ten

Problem for her is, she's named one of the Ten Worst People In Congress:

One gets the impression that if, in the name of "traditional values," Bachmann could rescind the vote for women, she would. Her vacant, wild eyes recall a doomsday prophet, or one of Charlie Manson's girls. Equal parts religious hack and party hack, she's got spunk and not much else.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Because Everybody's Been Clamoring for Them: Tax Links!

Calculate your taxes under McCain and Obama.

The McCain and Obama taxes on income levels, put in chart form. (Or if the Post asks for registration, click on the image.)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Early Eighties Gets Even Weirder

Ellen Foley is the gal who sang with Meat Loaf (pre-eighties) on the turn-the-dial-now! tune "Paradise By The Dashboard Light." A different gal appears with Loaf in the video.

Ellen Foley dated Mick Jones of the Clash in the early eighties. He produced one of her albums, the Jones/Strummer songwriting team wrote songs for it, and the Clash dudes played on it.

Ellen Foley is allegedly the inspiration for the Jones-penned Clash hit "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?"

Ellen Foley was the pre-Markie Post blonde public defender who starred with Harry Anderson on Night Court in season two.

Ellen Foley is a fox.
Cosmic Slop Returns?

Chuck and Joel have a couple of podcasts up and are having fun.

Yes, Mark, "Rock 'n' Roll Party In The Streets" is played!

The show has profiles on MySpace and Facebook but no linkage here as I don't do those sites. (Chuck if you're reading feel free to chime in with more info - thanks!)
Saturday Afternoon Movies

I have gotten back into the fall/winter/spring groove of watching DVD movies on Saturday afternoon with coffee. The past few weeks have been awesome:

Drugstore Cowboy - Junkies on the run. I hadn't seen this one in years, so long that I had forgotten that it is set in 1971. I haven't done a "my top ten favorite movies ever" list in years, but I know this one was in there at some point. Matt Dillon's best performance?

In Bruges - Hitmen on the run. Hard to sum this one up, but I laughed out loud repeatedly and it's not a comedy and is in fact sad and violent at other times. Everybody was brilliant in this, but Colin Farrell was a revelation: his facial expressions alone would get me to praise his performance.

The Wild Bunch - Bandits on the run. I saw this years ago but didn't get it for some reason. Now I do. Amazing in so many ways - especially the robberies and shootouts scenes - plus it stars William Holden. The funny thing is that I was prompted to add it to my Netflix queue after watching an ALF rerun on WGN last summer: ALF ends up in a neighbor's house surrounded by police. He tells them that he has hostages (he doesn't.) While on the phone with Willie, he worries that this situation will "end up like a Sam Peckinpah movie."

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Still Rube Central

Last night Saturday Night Live Thursday (huh?) went with a spot-on imitation of the crazy old lady at John McCain's Lakeville rally last Friday. We all thought we had lived through a short-lived phase of Minnesota being the heart of wackdom where in a single day Barack Obama was called an Arab and Magic Johnson was accused of faking AIDS, but no.

And then to up the ante, this afternoon Minnesota's #1 public wackjob - and a Christian Wackjob at that - appeared on MSNBC's Hardball With Chris Matthews and made sure that The Land of 10,000 Lakes remained rube central. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, as batty as advertised and unable to deal with Matthews's questions, stepped up to the plate and delivered some doozies:

On Obama: “Absolutely, I’m very concerned that he may have anti-American views.”

On Congress: “What I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think the American people would love to see an expose like that.”

Word has it that the opponent to Bachmann this fall, Elwyn Tinklenberg, has seen a large influx of donations to his campaign tonight since Bachmann's appearance on MSNBC. Unfortunately, it seems unlikely that the Democrats could convince her to go spew her nonsense to voters in battleground states.

Update: Colin Powell slams Bachmann! In your face, Congresswoman!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Saturday's game is supposed to be on channel 23 also ...

All week long, websites said that Comcast Minneapolis channel 23 would be showing tonights North Dakota vs. Mankato State hockey game. I rushed out the door at 6:30 to get beer, beef jerky, and ibuprofen (nagging back.) I come home and what game are they showing? Minnesota vs. St. Cloud State, which is also on FSN and FCS Pacific. Nice. The game isn't on a webcast and I don't feel like listening via the KFGO audio. Now what do I do? I'm someone who lives by a bunch of little schedules and when things get sidetracked I get flustered. It just seems wrong to crack open a Heineken when the Sioux aren't on TV.

Sigh. Guess I'll read a book and work on some writing.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Here's An Easier Way: Go To Google Images And Type "Virgin Mary"

People who see the Virgin Mary in trees, clouds, and hospital windows are pretty damn funny. Some window gets an acidic reaction that makes a random formation and you decide it looks like the mother of Jesus so you bring a chair to the hospital's parking lot so you can look at the window. You might not be the brightest person out there and I hope you're not skipping work to prove it ... but hey: Worshipping a woman is cool in my book.

And which vision do you believe in more: The Virgin Mary in an egg salad sandwich or the annually-guaranteed improved Vikings defense?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The MILF Ticket?

I was freaking out friends last week by saying/emailing this:

"Palin-Bachmann '012!"
Sure Glad I'm Not Temping These Days

Back in the days when I was temping, there was a stock figure who appeared in the large offices I worked at. He was the Nice Guy Accountant. Sometimes being a temp meant being shunned by the regulars, but Nice Guy Accountant would strike up a conversation with me and make me feel a little bit more comfortable. Problem was, his talk always turned to "the market":

All he talks about are bonds, investments, and the stock market. I’m sorry, I want to say, but money bores the shit out of me. Earlier this week, he was talking to the gal in the cubicle next to his about some “Wall Street Week” show that he watches on PBS on Friday nights and was going on and on about how cool the host of the show is. The gal finally shut him up by saying “you’re pathetic.” I cracked up and couldn’t stop laughing. Then she started laughing, which made me laugh more, which made her laugh more, etc.

Let's see ... I was making like twelve bucks an hour, lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment, and only allowed myself to not brown bag my lunch and eat out on Fridays. You think I really cared that much about the Dow?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Minnesota Reads

I was interviewed by Minnesota Reads, (from their site) "a blog that publishes book reviews by Minnesota Readers and talks to Minnesotans about what they’re reading."

The blog is a noble and fine effort, we need more info out there about books and authors and local readings.

And I'm glad to state that my attorney did not at any time stop the questioning.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Poster Offensive IV, My Soundtrack (Kinda)

I deejayed at the Frank Stone Gallery Friday night for the opening there of the fourth Poster Offensive show. Go check it out (it's there until October 12th) as there are some brilliant and beautiful posters to view and also purchase. The goal was to play political/topical/social commentary songs and highlights/lowlights for me included:

Def Jeff setting the deejays up with a stash of gin and tonic ingredients. Bombay Sapphire? Freakin' good!

Emotional reunion with my now-in-NYC (except this weekend, natch) deejay buddies. All the same stupid inside jokes work!

Wanting to play both the Yardbirds' "You're A Better Man Than I" and "Shapes of Things" and figuring out that I could loophole it by playing the Jeff Beck Group's version of "Shapes of Things."

Playing Brownsville Station's "Smokin' in the Boys Room" (protest music, get it?), expecting all the over-forty crowd to come up and slap me high-fives ... and having the song only be acknowledged by somebody who was born years after it hit #1.

Getting thumbs-up on Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Saturday Night Special" from the same man who once shook his head in amazement that I grew in North Dakota. He had then proceeded to describe winters there as "a cold sunovabitch."

Telling a rather attractive older woman that "this is just a hobby" when she asked if I could deejay an event for her. Then saying to myself: "Who the hell are you? Bo Jackson?"

Spotting a Finnish word on a poster. (Remarkable as I only know a dozen or so Suomalainen words.)

Winding up my night of spinning by playing Metallica's "Master of Puppets." Legend (if legends can be only twenty-four hours old) has it that I started the Metallica and then walked away, but in reality the Met brought Ben in a hurry from the floor so that he could take over and play Slayer. I walked away after he showed up as it had been quite a while deejaying without a bathroom break and concurrently quite a while with folks bringing me drinks as I deejayed, leading to a bladder inbalance.

Ben, Def Jeff, and I singing along with the chorus of Big Country's "In a Big Country." Beautiful, man.

Yelling "Don't take the brown acid!" after Def Jeff got done with his good night and good luck announcement.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Best Time Of The Year?

You know it's fall when metal becomes the preferred soundtrack while writing. This afternoon it was AC/DC's Powerage, tonight it was Def Leppard's High 'N' Dry.

Now it's off to headphones and vinyl and a Heineken and some proto-metal, Truth by the Jeff Beck Group.
Turns Out The New Deal Still Works

Is my money safe? My bank is a member of the FDIC so money there is insured up to $100K. Oh yeah, I think my money is safe.

Good thing conservatives didn't break up the FDIC in an effort to save me from big government. Anybody wanna google and see if those goofs tried?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tomorrow's Sports Headline


Saturday, September 27, 2008

"You know what I do at the Yankees, when one of these old guys is breathing down my neck?"

Sure John McCain was condescending, petulant, sneering, sighing, and kinda pissed-off in tonight's debate. Give him a break. George Constanza explained why years ago:

These old guys, they're up at four a.m., by two-thirty they're wiped.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Find A Comfortable Chair And Fire Up Some Popcorn

On TV the next couple of days:


7:00 Royals at Twins
8:00 McCain vs. Obama


2:30 Colorado at Florida State
2:55 Royals at Twins
6:00 Indians at White Sox
6:45 Alabama at Georgia

And then there's NFL games on Sunday but I should really go for a walk or a bike ride and/or get some reading done.

Update: The Twins are folding, the CU/FSU game wasn't on HD, couldn't watch Cleveland/ChiSox (also folding, "I'm not gonna try it, you try it ... I'm not gonna try it ... Let's get Mikey!") in standard definition when the Twins were in HD today, and the 'Bama/Georgia game was a blowout. After geeking out on the debate and hours of analysis afterwards, I should have caught up on my reading and Netflix today. At least I got an episode of Homicide in when the football turned bad tonight.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A Little Help?

In a season six episode of Homicide, Lt. Al Giardello proclaims to the squadroom: "I'm surrounded by fools and assassins!"

It's obvious that he wasn't being literal and probably pulled this quote from another source. Shakespeare maybe? Anybody know?

(A google search by the Silver Surfer only pulls up ... references to Giardello.)
Death Of The Compact Disc, Continued

I had Sirius satellite radio installed in my new car today. Said car also has iPod-playing capabilities.

Just five years ago I was excited to have a CD player installed in my car (hey I was driving a five-year-old GM cheapo, a CD player was a big deal for me), now CDs are likely the third option for music while driving. I think I'm only carrying three discs in the car right now instead of the usual ten.

Little Steven, Kid Leo, and Handsome Dick Manitoba deejaying in my car? And that's just one station? Awesome, totally awesome.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Duck Duck Goose??

On Pardon the Interruption today they showed a CFL team celebrating a touchdown by playing so-called "Duck Duck Goose." It was bizarre for so many reasons, then Mike Wilbon confounded me by saying he had never heard of this children's game.

And of course, everybody knows that the one true way to play the game is "Duck Duck Gray Duck"!!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Gophers Suck! (Special "McCain Is A Clown On Economics" Edition)

In case you need yet another reason to hate the Gopher hockey team, Don Lucia warmed up the crowd at a McCain rally in Blaine today:

Head Gophers hockey coach Don Lucia was one of the speakers who addressed the crowd prior to McCain’s arrival.

“It sounds like John McCain and Sarah Palin have a power play going on in Minnesota,” he told the crowd.

Great stuff, Don, really. Further proof you tend to fall flat lately in the big time when you're in a building that's not Mariucci Arena.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Whenever John McCain Opens His Mouth ...

... to talk about the economy, this is all I can hear in my mind.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

John McCain Wouldn't Deliver So Much As A Pizza For The American Worker, Further Reading At AFLCIO.org

Almost everybody knows that the Republicans' M.O. is to screw the little guy, make the rich richer, and then hope that regular folks are gullible enough to believe that wealth will trickle down to them.

So isn't John McCain's sudden embrace of the American worker kinda awkward? Who actually believes he'll do anything helpful for the middle and working classes?

Monday, September 15, 2008


Little Steven was just on his radio show, expounding on the greatness of early Rod Stewart and also his work with the Jeff Beck Group. He was brought back in time to 1969 and said the bass player in one of his teenager bands walked into their practice space/basement/garage with a magazine such as 16 Magazine and said:

"Check it out - Rod Stewart is white."

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

New Issue

Exiled on Main Street #44 is now posted.