More on Sunday's Meet The Press

President Bush telling Russert that he is a "war president" kinda reminds me of the scene from The Godfather, when Sonny complains that Tom Hagen isn't a wartime consiglieri.

But Bush isn't a Tom Hagen, no way. Bush is more of a Fredo in The Godfather: Part II - you can imagine him telling his handlers: "I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says ... like dumb ... I'm smart and I want respect!"

"They have managed him the same way they managed Ronald Reagan. They send him out to the press for one event a day, they put him in a brown jacket and jeans and get him to move some hay or drive a truck, and all of a sudden he's the Marlboro Man."
- John Kerry

Watching the president backpedal furiously on Meet The Press yesterday, I was trying to think of who he reminded me of. At first I thought he reminded me of me. Because last week before a ping-pong game, I guaranteed a victory. After getting my ass kicked, I said: "I guaranteed a victory. I didn't guarantee that I would win."

But that wasn't it. Then I thought maybe Dubya reminded me of Pee-Wee Herman, who would say: "I meant to do that." But that wasn't it either. Pee-Wee would accidentally goof, and then pretended like it was what he meant to do. Bush is maintaining that his Iraq campaign was correct, even as his reasons for waging it are starting to fall apart. He'll keep throwing "Saddam needed to be removed" at us endlessly until November.

THEN I figured out who Bush reminded me of in his Sunday interview ... Nigel Tufnel from Spinal Tap:

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and....
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [Pause.] These go to eleven.


On a related note, the White House has announced that it will create 2.6 million jobs this year. If you are wondering how many jobs the Bush administration has created to date ... well actually it's a LOSS of 2.2 million jobs. Don't buy into their math - the administration also told us last year that its tax cuts would generate 5.5 million jobs by the end of 2004. Yeah, right. All I can say is "HOOVER!" and it's not because this administration sucks.

A Couple Of Emails Received This Week Clear Up Some Things:

1) From Daniel Levitin -

On your website, when you describe the SNL skit, I can clarify the situation about Bruce Dickinson. There is ANOTHER Bruce Dickinson (not the Iron Maiden guy) who used to work for Columbia Records. He repackaged a bunch of already recorded BOC songs onto a compilation album, which carries the credit "Produced by Bruce Dickinson." He didn't produce any of the individual tracks, only the compilation. The SNL writers apparently used this CD as their information source about who the producer of "Reaper" was.

2) From Darrel Baird -

Read your article on Angel City. I manage two of The Angels. Rick & John Brewster and The Angels are now performing again in Australia. We will have an official website up and running soon, in the mean time people can purchase Brewster Brother new EP 'ANY DAY' at the below sites (http://www.bluetongue1.com and http://www.brewsterbrothers.com) via PAY PAL.

"You've Got Ten Seconds, The Countdown's Going On Right Now ..."

Everyone needs to see "Miracle." Kurt Russell was awesome as Herb Brooks. The movie was 2 hours, 15 minutes; but seemed like it was only an hour long. I would have gladly sat through another hour or two of this film.

(Yes, the Blue Oyster Cult and Aerosmith songs are in the movie. And no Queen.)

You Can't Trust The GOP With Your Checkbook

A niece analysis from the Associated Press on how President Bush says one thing, but does the other.

From that piece:

The Bush administration avoided being pinned down on what it would cost to invade, occupy and rebuild Iraq.

Then, six months after the invasion, Bush hit Congress with the tab: $87 billion, a figure that left even many of his fellow Republicans gasping. That was to get through this budget year, which ends Sept. 30.

On Friday, the administration said it will not request more money for the Iraq operations until at least January, two months after November's elections.

The administration's projections on Iraqi oil revenues also were widely off the mark. Oil is bringing in a fraction of what Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz predicted last spring.

Sure, maybe we only got rid of a two-bit dictator who was of no threat whatsoever to the United States. But c'mon: forget the continual loss of America lives and the ongoing costs of occupation - this victory is major ... like those victories in Grenada and over Noriega!

Later in the piece, Grover (that's my real name) Norquist weighs in:

Grover Norquist, president of Americans for Tax Reform and a conservative who is close to the White House, said he worries less about the deficit than about the spike in overall government spending.

"Total spending is the cost to future generations," Norquist said, invoking Bush's "future generations" line. He added that he thought several Bush initiatives, including health savings accounts and Social Security reforms, eventually will rein in overall federal spending.

The key word in that line is "eventually." Kinda vague on the timing isn't it? If you want to get rid of these ridiculous federal deficits, you have to keep Republicans out of the White House.

See Ya In The Funny Pages

I can't help commenting that both today's Beetle Bailey cartoon and today's B.C. cartoon have golf/drinking references. Dig how General Halftrack has the bubbles near his head to indicate he's buzzed up.

Meanwhile, Dagwood apparently had the same kind of Friday night that I did. I love that man. (And who's hotter: Blondie or daughter Cookie?)

Sweep At Home, Split On the Road = MacNaughton Cup (?)

What was the more astounding thing that happened at Mariucci Arena tonight?

1) That the Gophers held the powerhouse Fighting Sioux to only 14 shots

or

2) Minnesota managed to provide a usable ice surface without hour-long delays the whole game?

Despite tonight's loss, I am impressed with my Fighting Sioux. Explosive forwards, solid defense, genius coaching. But Jordan Parise is going to have to sit come the postseason - once the opponent touches a puck in his zone, he goes down like (insert hooker or Randy Moss punchline here.)

Whatever It Takes To Slow Down The #1 Team ...
(or)
Is Mariucci Old And Outdated?

Real nice ice job at Mariucci Arena tonight. I mean reaaaaalllll nice. This was even more confounding and embarrassing than Cincinnati's ice delay during the 1996 NCAA semifinals. Should we even still call Minnesota "The State of Hockey"?

Lincoln! We Have Him! And Teddy Roosevelt Too!

A while back, I saw a bumper sticker that said: "Republicans Make Great Leaders - You're Following One Now." Not only was that funny enough, but it was pasted on a huge, ugly, Chrysler minivan. While following this load, I made a mental list of great Republican leaders in my lifetime ... Nixon (nope - a crook), Reagan (nope - recession, deficits, Iran/Contra, plus he was stoopid), Bush I (yeah right), Bush II (or is it Ronnie II? ... recession, deficits, and stoopid plus geez at least Ronnie was less-dumb enough to just simply invade a scenic rest area like Grenada.)

Hmmm. So it was just another bumper sticker that promised the world but delivered nothing. Then I thought: What about Arne Carlson? Dunno if he was great, but he's looking better and better these days. Probably the last of the country club Republicans. Pro-choice. Pro-gun-control. Pro-gay-rights. He defied the activists in his own party - a classic moment was when he won the 1994 Republican primary, even though the party had endorsed someone else.

Today I read Doug Grow's column in the Strib, and read this:

He believes President Bush is beatable unless he starts "being honest" about the war in Iraq, if he doesn't mend relationships with the United Nations, and if he doesn't stop "cynically" adding to the deficit.

It should be noted that Carlson, 69, no longer considers himself a Republican. He's an independent, he says.

I voted for Arne in 1994. I'd vote for him again. Somehow I have the feeling he's not driving a minivan.

Quote Of The Weekend

The Carolina Panthers' DeShaun Foster had just powered through three or four Philadelphia Eagles defenders to score a touchdown, and going to the commercial Fox plays James Taylor's "Carolina in My Mind."

Joe Buck deadpans: "Nothing says hard-fought January football like the music of James Taylor."

"We Can Beat Dese Guys"

Analysis of the music used in the trailer for "Miracle":

- The use of music by Blue Oyster Cult and Aerosmith is indeed better than the use of Queen's music that I heard on a TV trailer. As my pal Def Jeff pointed out; Queen were British, while BOC and 'smith are American. Plus Queen = royalty = un-American. "We Will Rock You" is simply one of the worst rock 'n' roll songs ever made. It was easily apparent way back in seventh grade after my second listening of the song that it was a piece of crap.

- Aerosmith's "Dream On" is a much better anthem than the Queen tune. It has held up after three decades of being played to death on classic rock radio. It should be noted that Aerosmith are from Boston; while Jim Craig, Mike Eruzione, Jack O'Callahan, and Dave Silk all attended Boston University.

- Blue Oyster's Cult "Don't Fear the Reaper" is probably a reference to the Soviet hockey team. The Grim Reaper carries a scythe, which also appeared on the Soviet flag. Seasons don't fear the Reaper, nor do the wind the sun or the rain. Neither did Herbie Brooks.

"The Greatest Moment In Sports History"

Last night my brother emailed me to say that the trailer for the movie "Miracle" is now online. It's better - and longer - than the trailer they've been showing on ESPN, and not only because instead of Queen (sucks) they have music by Blue Oyster Cult and Aerosmith. Goddamn, Kurt Russell is chill-inducing as Herb Brooks.

The movie opens February 6th. I'll be at the first show with kleenex in case ... ummm ... my allergies act up.

too many lives are spent across the ocean
too much money been spent upon the moon
(or)
rockets
moon shots
spend it on
the have-nots

Because the Martians will welcome us as liberators and we can then use Martian oil revenues to pay for space exploration.

It's safe to say that we can leave it to Republicans to increase their record-setting deficits. But who gets to tell Dubya that there's no green cheese left on the moon?

But Next Season He'll Grow Up - Really!

How are Randy Moss apologists going to reconcile this quote from Vikings coach Mike Tice?

In today's CJ column (the Strib's gossip columnist tells you what Uncle Sid won't), Tice says that if he can get Moss "to play better against crummy teams, getting him to play with more energy on the road and stuff like that -- then we'll win a championship because he's one of the best players in the league."

There you have it. Moss's own coach says he doesn't always try his best. Anybody ever recall Bill Walsh saying these things about Jerry Rice? And does "stuff like that" mean 1) Moss's tendency to tiptoe out of bounds instead of getting another yard or two and, 2) his being too chickenshit to go for a ball thrown over the middle when a DB has him in his sights?

Oh, and psssst coach: You need a defense to win a championship.

Air Force Parka = Chick Magnet (?)

Today at the liquor store, the checkout girl was damn near flirting with me, she remembered me from a few weeks ago when she was digging my Air Force parka. The attention was wonderful, but inside I was thinking:

She has tattoos and dreads and piercings and pasty skin. She should be frowning at or scolding me. Sure she looks hotttttt with those size-too-small jeans and teeshirt, but this is going against a years-old Exiled tradition.