St. Patrick's Day: Halloween with crummier costumes.
The Hold Steady album: pills and powder baby / powders and pills / we spent the night last night in Beverly Hills / there was this chick that looked like Beverly Sills / we got killed
The Hold Steady show: Craig from the Poster Show was there, as was Joel from Cosmic Slop. And Michael from Aesthetic Appartus, and Patty from the Minnesota Historical Society. Craig Finn gave me a quick hello. And Jim Walsh bought me an Old Style. Name-dropping central. The music was cool too.
Bell's Two Hearted Ale: "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)
Strippers: Their favorable rating at an all-time high.
Liquor Depot: Leiny for $15.99 a case? I have to raise my bookkeeping rates again? It's only March!
Grumpy's on Washington Avenue: Twenty-five percent tip.
Glenn's Barber Shop: All we talked about was beer and cigars.
Bobby Fischer Goes To War: USA! USA! USA!
St. Urho's Day: Bill Tuomala Goes To War (or) I Fought The Beer, And The Beer Won.
Sioux hockey: Hit first, ask questions later.
Gopher hockey: Peaking again at the right time. Does Pat Riley get a royalty check this year?
Mariucci and Xcel Arenas: Nice delays. I'm being sarcastic.
Charlie Rich: The white Bobby "Blue" Bland.
Bobby "Blue" Bland: The black Charlie Rich.
Saying "Bobby 'Blue' Bland": Almost as enjoyable as listening to him.
My poetry: Time for a comeback?
Cats: I've flip-flopped my position. Sue me.
John Kerry Minnesota Headquarters: Answer your damn phone!
Shutting Down My Computer For A Week: No more neck pain.
Shutting Off My Phone For A Week: Best idea since concocting alternate-universe Van Halen essay.
Hoops Pool: We get Mulligans, right?
Victory Sports Channel: Dear Carl Pohlad ... fuck off