Things You'll Never Hear
Inspired by the "Things You'll Never Hear" bit on the Common Man Progrum (i.e. "And with that sure-handed grab, Troy Williamson makes his fourth reception of the game." ... "Carl Pohlad went out and tried to buy himself a World Series title."... Hello Gopher football fans! Welcome to the game and Happy New Year!"), I came up with a few of my own:
Things You'll Never Hear From A Gopher Hockey Fan:
"Yeah we have a good freshmen class, but your team's is better."
Things You'll Never Hear From A Gopher Hockey Coach:
"You don't actually think I'd use the 'we're still tired from World Juniors' excuse weeks into the new year, do you?"
Things You'll Never Hear On A Gopher Hockey Broadcast:
"Boy the Gophers are really playing the body tonight, they're physically manhandling the opponent."
" And as expected, the heavily-favored Gophers have easily beaten their opening-round opponent in the NCAA tourney."