Tuesday Tuneage
Barney Miller Theme
1975

Fish: The doctor said he was very lucky, the bullet just grazed him.
Barney: Where'd she hit him?
Fish: In the inseam.


Dietrich: I've always admired the Japanese outlook on death. The calm acceptance, the treating it as a part of life...
Yemana: [to Wojo] I dunno what he's talking about - personally, I'm going kicking and screaming all the way.
Wojo: Well, why don't you tell him that?
Yemana: I like my image.


Telephone Repairman: Are you really a cop?
Yemana: Yeah, why do you ask?
Telephone Repairman: Never seen a Japanese cop before.
Yemana: Ever been to Tokyo?


Scanlon: Harris! How's things down in Funkytown?
Harris: Oh, dey fine, dey fine!


Barney: [to former Det. Kelly] Hello, Kelly. What are you doing here?
Fish: Making friends.
Barney: How do you like Narcotics?
Yemana: They haven't helped him a bit.


Dietrich: Uh, Nick, there's no exclamation point on that typewriter.
Yemana: That typewriter's over forty years old.
Dietrich: I guess people didn't get as excited back then.


Stripper: In many parts of the world the naked female body is revered.
Dietrich: Yeah. My place.
Stripper: Fiji, Samoa...
Dietrich: My place is closer.


Dietrich: I knew a guy who when he got depressed would just put on his coat, leave the house, and just start walking.
Barney (to Wojo): See?
Dietrich: Sometimes for hours on end. One time he was gone for almost a whole day.
Barney: Yeah, some people just like to be alone. He came back, didn't he?
Dietrich: Yeah.
Barney (to Wojo): See?
Dietrich: The tide brought him in.


Dietrich: Swan Lake is one of the best ballets ever written. It's an artistic milestone!
Marty: Have you seen it?
Dietrich: I had hockey tickets.