Corporate America Still Sucks

Jason Nagel of Cities 97, a friend of Exiled, was let go by Clear Channel last week. Jason, if you're reading: Sorry to hear the news, my man - hope you are doing well.

Homers, Homers, Everywhere

Homers in the media aren't only limited to the Twin Cities. They are in every sports market. Cases in point over the weekend:

1) On KFGO-AM, Sioux hockey radio play-by-play guy Tim Hennessy said that the Wisconsin hockey coaches were probably wondering how they pulled off their Friday night win over North Dakota. Final score? Badgers 4, Sioux 0. As my cousin Dale used to say to announcers who incessently brought up shots-on-goal totals: "Any time you wanna play for shots on goal, let me know."

2) On NBC on Saturday, the color guy talked about Air Force was "eking out a ten-point win" over Notre Dame. One, two, three points? Sure those are "eking out", but not ten. Yes, I know NBC is based in New York City while Notre Dame is in South Bend, but NBC's coverage of the Irish still qualifies as homerism in my book. And Air Force ended up beating Notre Lame by 17, which certainly qualifies as a beatdown. (This allows me an excuse to link to Slate's hatchet job on Irish coach Charlie Weis.)

Tough Teams And Sportsmen

Tonight I was watching North Dakota vs. Wisconsin from Madison via a FSN-Wisconsin feed. After the first period, they flashed back to a classic bench-clearing brawl between the teams in 1982. This was the one where the arena's beer garden was right next to the teams' benches, so the Sioux players were fighting Badgers and also ended up fighting with some fans. It was started when Badger player John Newberry sprayed the Sioux's Cary Eades with a water bottle, so one of the wildest brawls in college hockey history is simply known by the quaint moniker of "The Water Bottle Game." (Incident recounted here by the Badger stick boy at the time. While the poster might be using an anonymous name, coincidentally the color guy on the broadcast tonight said was the stick boy for that Badger team and pretty much told the same story as on the linked message board.)

Two classic lines from the 1982 Wisconsin play-by-play guy: 1) "They (UND) are fighting everybody! The Badgers, the fans, the cops!" 2) "And North Dakota has done it again!!"

They interviewed current-day Newberry during the intermission also. He said something like: "As I'm nearing fifty, I'd rather be remembered for squirting a water bottle then not to be remembered at all ... I mean 'supposedly' squirting a water bottle."

It should be noted that North Dakota beat favored Wisconsin in the national championship game that year. After the win, Eades skated the championship trophy over in front of the Wisconsin fans. They stood and cheered him and the Sioux.

Tonight it was a nasty game between the two teams. There were some heated moments and things bubbled over late in the third when all of the non-goalies on the ice were going at it. I don't think any punches were thrown, but all ten players were ejected. The announcers in the FSN-WI booth were loving it. The color guy said that if Wisconsin wants to play at the high level that North Dakota does, they need to get some of their nastiness. The play-by-play guy excitedly pointed out that these two teams have a history, giving an excuse to once again show footage of The Water Bottle Game brawl.

After the game ended (Sioux won 3-1), the coaches went for the customary hand shake, then went back towards their teams. I saw Badger coach Mike Eaves turn and say or yell something at Sioux coach Dave Hakstol. They cut to the Sioux congratulating their goalie; then soon enough cut right back to Eaves and Hakstol, who by now were jawing at each other heatedly. Eventually, a Badger assistant stepped in to move Eaves away and the coaches went to their respective corners.

And of course the two teams' players went through with their customary handshake, with the players going over to the opposing coaches for a handshake after.

UPDATE: YouTube of the 1982 "incident", alas no audio. UW in white, UND in green. At about the 1:05 mark ... things are quieting down after the first uproar and then look for UND's Jim Archibald to come charging out of the walkway and attack the Badger bench: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_G-FTg419NM

I'm Raising A Cold One To Him

I didn't know Matt Zaun real well, he spent some time earlier in the year working at a client's of mine. He always made me smile, though. Either with a dry-wit remark or because of the smile that was ever-present on his face. I saw him there at the studio last Friday. It was one of those days that were so busy for both of us that we didn't exchange much beyond a "hi." Before he left for the day, he said he was going to the same party that I would be at on Saturday. I looked forward to seeing him there, he was someone I genuinely wanted to get to know better.

I told this to Jeff today after he told me that Matt had passed away over the weekend. I pointed out that I didn't even know where Matt was from. Jeff said that he was from North Dakota. Rest in peace, Matt.

I Don't Care What My Brother Says, I'm Gonna Write About My Fantasy Football Team!

Marshawn Lynch of the Buffalo Bills (best-named team in all of sports) came up big for my team, The Moe Greens, today. And tonight it finally dawned on me that he was the same California running back who drove an injury cart around the field after scoring the game-winning overtime touchdown against Washington last year. Classic!

Tip Your Bartenders, Tip Your Friends

Last summer I was having coffee with Carin and for whatever reason decided to explain to her what a shelter belt is. This led me to wonder aloud if the better band name is "Shelter Belt" or "The Shelter Belts." She said: "You don't smoke pot. Why do you come up with imaginary band names?" I can't remember what I said at the time but I guess I do it because it's fun and makes for good blog filler and post titles.

At the bar the other night, I was the only one in the joint at the time. The bartender declared: "I'm stoned and bored." I said: "You could come up with imaginary band names." She immediately said: "'I'm Stoned And Bored' would be my band's name."

Blast From The Past

I'm enjoying a favorite fall and winter Sunday afternoon tradition. Watching the late-afternoon NFL game? No - listening to Vikings Fan Whine Line on KFAN ("Your Reaction To All The Action".) This is a call-in show after the Vikings game where Purple fans call in with their opinions on the game, players, coaches, etc. It's hosted by Jeff Dubay and Mike Morris. (Favorite Morris-isms include "they are what they are" and "the calvary isn't coming any time soon" ... Morris has been using that last one for at least three years now - it's the only calvary I've heard of that travels on foot.) With as mediocre as the Purple have been the past few years, the angry and frustrated calls from the armchair quarterbacks and general managers are hilarious.

A few minutes ago, there was a call from a guy in Detroit Lakes calling for Bud Grant to be brought in as head coach. The caller was serious and based on his unique name and voice, I'm sure it was a slow-witted, acne-inflicted dude I used to work with at a Hardee's in DL during over twenty years ago! Whine Line - entertaining as hell and bringing up summer job nostalgia - I LOVE IT!!

More On The 'Mats Book

I finished reading Jim Walsh's 'Mats book, All Over But The Shouting, last night but blew through it so fast that I will have to read it again this winter to absorb it. A few thoughts:

1) Replacements book drinking game! Any time someone mentions booze or being drunk, take a drink. See if you can make it through a chapter, I dare ya. (Thanks to Carin for getting the idea of a 'Mats book drinking game in my head.)

2) I am strangely glad to be the one responsible for Taco John's being mentioned in the book.

3) About two-thirds of the way through the book, it dawned on me: For whatever reason, what this story reminds me of the most is the original The Bad News Bears.

Things You'll Never Hear

Inspired by the "Things You'll Never Hear" bit on the Common Man Progrum (i.e. "And with that sure-handed grab, Troy Williamson makes his fourth reception of the game." ... "Carl Pohlad went out and tried to buy himself a World Series title."... Hello Gopher football fans! Welcome to the game and Happy New Year!"), I came up with a few of my own:


Things You'll Never Hear From A Gopher Hockey Fan:

"Yeah we have a good freshmen class, but your team's is better."


Things You'll Never Hear From A Gopher Hockey Coach:

"You don't actually think I'd use the 'we're still tired from World Juniors' excuse weeks into the new year, do you?"


Things You'll Never Hear On A Gopher Hockey Broadcast:

"Boy the Gophers are really playing the body tonight, they're physically manhandling the opponent."

" And as expected, the heavily-favored Gophers have easily beaten their opening-round opponent in the NCAA tourney."

Replacements Book Is Out Now

Jim Walsh's The Replacements: All Over But the Shouting: An Oral History is out sooner than earlier expected - I picked up my copy today. It's a sharp-looking book, great cover photo and also great photos inside. I've flipped through it a couple of times and have chuckled at some of the quotes.

I'm proud to be part of the permanent unauthorized record - I'm in there a couple of times talking about seeing the band live. (Please don't let this discourage you from buying the book.)

Congratulations, Jim. The 'Mats legacy was one screaming for a book-length telling. I'll raise a cold one to ya as I read your book this week.

RIP, Max McGee

The hero of the first Super Bowl, Max McGee, is dead at age 75 after falling off his roof. McGee's Super Bowl story is a classic of old school sports heroism: He didn't expect to play in the game and was up all night drinking. The Packers' starting wideout went down, and McGee stepped in to score two touchdowns.

As a kid, I read every childrens or young adults history of football and history of baseball book I could get my hands on. Also in the mix were football and baseball stars bios and books such as The Linebackers: The Tough Ones Of Pro Football (that one written by SI's own Dr. Z.) So the Max McGee Super Bowl I story was known at an early age. Though I would like to look at the book or books that contained the story - they said that McGee had been up all night, but I doubt drinking or a severe hangover were mentioned. (Historical aside: Super Bowl I was at the time actually known as the AFL-NFL World Championship Of Football.)

The story from the Strib contains a couple of classic McGee quotes:

- "When it's third-and-10, you can take the milk drinkers and I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time."

- McGee once teased Vince Lombardi when the coach showed the team a football on their first meeting and said, "Gentlemen, this is a football."McGee said, 'Not so fast, not so fast.'"

Rest in peace, Max McGee.

Gopher Radio Announcers As Inept As The Team On The Field

I listened to the last minutes of 1-AA Football Championship Subdivision squad North Dakota State knocking off Minnesota today on WCCO-AM. The crew on the radio was laughable. In the short time I listened, I heard the following:

- Darrell Thompson suggested that the Gophers might be able to drive down the field and force overtime. Thing is, they trailed by six points at the time. Was he banking on a missed extra point?

- Dave Lee questioned why the Bison would throw the ball on third-and-nine. They were near midfield at the time, but weren't in field goal range.

- Dave Mona was quick to go after the officials and call a roughing the punter call as questionable, though to his credit he did reverse his stance after seeing the replay.

I still have a soft spot for Darrell Thompson though. Years ago when he played at the UM, somebody at the office I worked at said they had seen him on Nicollet Mall during the lunch hour. I immediately piped up with a Fast Times quote: "Wow! Does he really live here? I thought he just flew in for games!"

Boston College: If You Can't Host Big-Time College Hockey Then Move To Division III

Boston College, notorious Frozen Four bridesmaid and winner of a mere two national championships in college hockey, is hosting North Dakota tonight.

1) The game time was delayed by twenty-plus minutes due to a power outage.

2) Early in the second period the game was stopped due to a power outage. The TV and Internet feeds were out for twenty-plus minutes and now they say the game will restart in five minutes.

This reminds me of A) when the clowns at Mariucci Arena a few years back who couldn't keep a good ice sheet going for a Sioux vs. Gophers game and there was an hour-plus delay, and B) in '96 when the idiots in Ohio had ponds of standing water on the ice during the Frozen Four.

Boston College ... not capable of running a peewee exhibition game. Sheesh.

Update: When they showed an on-the-ice angle during the second period, there was fog prevalent. The color announcer went on to tell about THREE different hockey games in this arena that had similar problems, and then went on to compare how foggy tonight's game is compared to a game against Boston University last season. (His verdict: The BU game was worse - it was suspended, which hasn't happened yet tonight.) Boston College ... not capable of hosting your "hey let's all go ice skating!" birthday party.

Update: Game cancelled after two periods and apparently settled as a 0-0 tie. Boston College ... get a fucking real facility and join the big boys.

C. Thomas Howell Plays For CC?

Four Colorado College hockey players were suspended for wearing blackface. Classy!

Unconfirmed rumors about the CC hockey team include: That a player who lagged on the ice was labeled as "being as mobile as a lawn jockey" and that the Tigers refer to their road jerseys as "darkies."

By The Way ... Nice Airbrush Job, Mojo

Upon getting the new Mojo mag in the mail Tuesday and getting it out of the plastic bag, my immediate reaction was:

"What the hell is Jackie Earle Haley doing on the cover of Mojo??"

Turns out is was Liam Gallagher ... or maybe it was Steve Nash?