"Styx Ain't Half Bad, But They Almost Are."

Okay, anybody who can make TWO great Roman Polanski jokes in a short review of a Starz album (Starz? yes, Starz) deserves my respect and admiration as a writer.

I am talking about Rick Johnson. Until I bought the Rick Johnson Reader: 'Tin Cans, Squeems & Thudpies', I hadn't read anything by him. I just knew he had written for Creem in the seventies and eighties and was considered "the new Lester" after Lester Bangs left the mag. Unfortunately, Johnson died last year. But a former editor of his put together this anthology, and Boy Howdy am I glad. I'm only halfway through the book, but am loving Johnson's wit.

For example:

He shows a nice talent for slipping in TV commercial references, such as referring to Peter Kriss of Kiss as "Meow Mix" and referring to The Who's Who Are You album as a "new pan of Who Helper."

He makes mention of George Harrison's vegetarianism, then later in the review proceeds to write: "... the real meaty parts - woops, sorry George - the real ricey parts of the album ..."

He rips the post-Exile Stones so well I want to photocopy those pages and hand 'em off to anybody who insists on the greatness of Goat's Head Soup. Or for that matter, Some Girls - it's a good album but tends to sound more like a Stones tribute band than the real Stones. I think folks who buy into Stones scams (remember the argument that Steal Wheels was "underrated"?) are ones who haven't spent quality time with Stones music pre-Beggar's Banquet. (Pick up a copy of 12 x 5 already.)

In writing about the Lester Bangs and the Delinquents album, he writes that the songwriting "if it were a nuthouse or prison, would be described as 'seriously understaffed.'"

He states that Warren Zevon would soon be starring in a film titled Zevon Brides For Zevon Brothers

On live albums: "There have been some great live albums (MC5's Kick Out The Jams; I forget the other one.)"

And even more cheap shots at George Harrison.

I have laughed out loud many times while reading this book. I am scared to write about music in the near future, fearing that my subconscious will start inserting stolen Rick Johnson cracks into my writing. Buy it, proceeds from its sale will be donated to a journalism scholarship fund at Johson's alma mater, Western Illinois University.