Dear Landlord

I sometimes am asked why I don't buy a house. Here's a typical off-and-on discussion that I have with nosy busybodies in my life:

You should buy a house.

I don't want a house. I don't want to mow a lawn, prune trees, shovel snow, or have neighbors that I am obliged to talk to over the backyard fence.

Oh, then you should buy a condo.

I would be paying more per month to live in something smaller than I am in now, and it wouldn't be in this neighborhood that I love.

But you need to build up some equity!

Fuck that. And just to double down, I'm gonna lease my next car!

And these days it turns out it saves me $200 a month to rent over buying ... plus I'll be getting three hundred large in a property tax refund this summer. Sure beats mowing the lawn or paying association fees.