Saturday, January 31, 2004

See Ya In The Funny Pages

I can't help commenting that both today's Beetle Bailey cartoon and today's B.C. cartoon have golf/drinking references. Dig how General Halftrack has the bubbles near his head to indicate he's buzzed up.

Meanwhile, Dagwood apparently had the same kind of Friday night that I did. I love that man. (And who's hotter: Blondie or daughter Cookie?)

Saturday, January 24, 2004

Sweep At Home, Split On the Road = MacNaughton Cup (?)

What was the more astounding thing that happened at Mariucci Arena tonight?

1) That the Gophers held the powerhouse Fighting Sioux to only 14 shots


2) Minnesota managed to provide a usable ice surface without hour-long delays the whole game?

Despite tonight's loss, I am impressed with my Fighting Sioux. Explosive forwards, solid defense, genius coaching. But Jordan Parise is going to have to sit come the postseason - once the opponent touches a puck in his zone, he goes down like (insert hooker or Randy Moss punchline here.)

Friday, January 23, 2004

Whatever It Takes To Slow Down The #1 Team ...
Is Mariucci Old And Outdated?

Real nice ice job at Mariucci Arena tonight. I mean reaaaaalllll nice. This was even more confounding and embarrassing than Cincinnati's ice delay during the 1996 NCAA semifinals. Should we even still call Minnesota "The State of Hockey"?

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Lincoln! We Have Him! And Teddy Roosevelt Too!

A while back, I saw a bumper sticker that said: "Republicans Make Great Leaders - You're Following One Now." Not only was that funny enough, but it was pasted on a huge, ugly, Chrysler minivan. While following this load, I made a mental list of great Republican leaders in my lifetime ... Nixon (nope - a crook), Reagan (nope - recession, deficits, Iran/Contra, plus he was stoopid), Bush I (yeah right), Bush II (or is it Ronnie II? ... recession, deficits, and stoopid plus geez at least Ronnie was less-dumb enough to just simply invade a scenic rest area like Grenada.)

Hmmm. So it was just another bumper sticker that promised the world but delivered nothing. Then I thought: What about Arne Carlson? Dunno if he was great, but he's looking better and better these days. Probably the last of the country club Republicans. Pro-choice. Pro-gun-control. Pro-gay-rights. He defied the activists in his own party - a classic moment was when he won the 1994 Republican primary, even though the party had endorsed someone else.

Today I read Doug Grow's column in the Strib, and read this:

He believes President Bush is beatable unless he starts "being honest" about the war in Iraq, if he doesn't mend relationships with the United Nations, and if he doesn't stop "cynically" adding to the deficit.

It should be noted that Carlson, 69, no longer considers himself a Republican. He's an independent, he says.

I voted for Arne in 1994. I'd vote for him again. Somehow I have the feeling he's not driving a minivan.

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Quote Of The Weekend

The Carolina Panthers' DeShaun Foster had just powered through three or four Philadelphia Eagles defenders to score a touchdown, and going to the commercial Fox plays James Taylor's "Carolina in My Mind."

Joe Buck deadpans: "Nothing says hard-fought January football like the music of James Taylor."

Saturday, January 17, 2004

"We Can Beat Dese Guys"

Analysis of the music used in the trailer for "Miracle":

- The use of music by Blue Oyster Cult and Aerosmith is indeed better than the use of Queen's music that I heard on a TV trailer. As my pal Def Jeff pointed out; Queen were British, while BOC and 'smith are American. Plus Queen = royalty = un-American. "We Will Rock You" is simply one of the worst rock 'n' roll songs ever made. It was easily apparent way back in seventh grade after my second listening of the song that it was a piece of crap.

- Aerosmith's "Dream On" is a much better anthem than the Queen tune. It has held up after three decades of being played to death on classic rock radio. It should be noted that Aerosmith are from Boston; while Jim Craig, Mike Eruzione, Jack O'Callahan, and Dave Silk all attended Boston University.

- Blue Oyster's Cult "Don't Fear the Reaper" is probably a reference to the Soviet hockey team. The Grim Reaper carries a scythe, which also appeared on the Soviet flag. Seasons don't fear the Reaper, nor do the wind the sun or the rain. Neither did Herbie Brooks.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

"The Greatest Moment In Sports History"

Last night my brother emailed me to say that the trailer for the movie "Miracle" is now online. It's better - and longer - than the trailer they've been showing on ESPN, and not only because instead of Queen (sucks) they have music by Blue Oyster Cult and Aerosmith. Goddamn, Kurt Russell is chill-inducing as Herb Brooks.

The movie opens February 6th. I'll be at the first show with kleenex in case ... ummm ... my allergies act up.

Friday, January 09, 2004

too many lives are spent across the ocean
too much money been spent upon the moon
moon shots
spend it on
the have-nots

Because the Martians will welcome us as liberators and we can then use Martian oil revenues to pay for space exploration.

It's safe to say that we can leave it to Republicans to increase their record-setting deficits. But who gets to tell Dubya that there's no green cheese left on the moon?

Thursday, January 08, 2004

But Next Season He'll Grow Up - Really!

How are Randy Moss apologists going to reconcile this quote from Vikings coach Mike Tice?

In today's CJ column (the Strib's gossip columnist tells you what Uncle Sid won't), Tice says that if he can get Moss "to play better against crummy teams, getting him to play with more energy on the road and stuff like that -- then we'll win a championship because he's one of the best players in the league."

There you have it. Moss's own coach says he doesn't always try his best. Anybody ever recall Bill Walsh saying these things about Jerry Rice? And does "stuff like that" mean 1) Moss's tendency to tiptoe out of bounds instead of getting another yard or two and, 2) his being too chickenshit to go for a ball thrown over the middle when a DB has him in his sights?

Oh, and psssst coach: You need a defense to win a championship.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Air Force Parka = Chick Magnet (?)

Today at the liquor store, the checkout girl was damn near flirting with me, she remembered me from a few weeks ago when she was digging my Air Force parka. The attention was wonderful, but inside I was thinking:

She has tattoos and dreads and piercings and pasty skin. She should be frowning at or scolding me. Sure she looks hotttttt with those size-too-small jeans and teeshirt, but this is going against a years-old Exiled tradition.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Heh Heh

Hey - what time do the Vikings play today?