Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Everything Is On The Internet

For some reason, I wasn't completely aware of Wikiquote until last week. And for whatever reason, I typed in John Adams's name and found this great quote:

Be not intimidated, therefore, by any terrors, from publishing with the utmost freedom, whatever can be warranted by the laws of your country; nor suffer yourselves to be wheedled out of your liberties by any pretenses of politeness, delicacy, or decency. These, as they are often used, are but three different names for hypocrisy, chicanery, and cowardice.

That same day, I grabbed David McCullough's biography of Adams and decided to read it after I finish the summer-fun spy novel I'm reading now.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

How Many More Do They Have Behind That Door?

The Republican party has famously declared itself a "big tent" party. I just wonder how big their closet is.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Funnier Than Sid Hartman Also

I laughed out loud while reading the sports page, and it wasn't where I saw that the Strib is actually printing standings for the NFL's exhibition "season." No, it was a blurb from the AP on Phillies pitcher Brett Myers coughing up a lead in the ninth inning.

When Myers was asked about the two home runs, he said they were really “just pop ups.”

A reporter from the Philadelphia Inquirer questioned whether Myers really thought they were pop ups, and Myers got angry.

“You’re not even a beat reporter, you’re a fill-in, you don’t know anything about baseball,” said Myers, who then called the reporter “retarded.”

And this is where I laughed out loud:

The Inquirer reporter asked if Myers could spell retarded, and Myers stood up. Burrell then restrained Myers, and Myers refused to speak any further.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Like, Totally Awesome

It looks like Twins reliever Carmen Cali has only pitched in back-to-back games once this season. If he does so again, it would awesome if when he makes his appearance in the second game, Bert Blyleven or Dick Bremer were to say that Ron Gardenhire is "going back to Cali."

Sunday, August 19, 2007

One Reason Why I Choose The Rolling Stones Over The Beatles, Always

"Paint It, Black"

I just listened to it three times in a row and it's the creepiest song to hit #1 on the pop charts. Yeah, Brian Jones played a sitar but Charlie Watts is the star instrument-wise. I'm not a big lyrics guy, because when generally when somebody tells me how great an artist's lyrics are it's a sign that said artist has a crappy rhythm section and also can't sing. But the lyrics in "Paint It, Black" are so perfectly ... dunno how to describe them ... I guess they read like how you would imagine lyrics by the Stones being if they were truly evil:

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes


I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a newborn baby it just happens every day


I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky

Friday, August 17, 2007

My Favorite TV Commercials Of The Summer

I'd list more, but these three are easily my faves. No references to a product being "on steroids" in these:

1) Jack Mulcahy (I knew him from The Brothers McMullen) singing an ode to Snickers. (The one airing this summer is a variation on this, featuring the same actors and jingle.) I did mucho surfing on this earlier this summer and found out that (allegedly) Mulcahy wrote this jingle himself. The melody is not lifted from another song, but does remind some of the chorus of Elton John's "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters."

2) Sonic 99-Cent Root Beer Float. Alas, I couldn't find video of this. But it's the one where T.J. gives Pete a dollar to buy the float and tells him to "keep the change." If you're wondering how I know the actors names, I found out in this article that reveals they are improv actors who improvise the dialogue.

On a related note: the Sonic guys go through a convoluted explanation on how they will "bring it" to YouTube users who are making their own Sonic commercials.

3) Bruce Campbell singing "Hungry Like The Wolf" for Old Spice. Ahoy.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Is It The Best Third-Part-Of-A-Trilogy Ever?

Bill Friedkin (director of The French Connection) (he goes by "William", but us Williams can call each other "Bill" or "Billy" - it's in the rules) was on NPR on Monday and pointed out that by the time a movie franchise gets to its third part, they've given in to the almighty dollar and mail it in. But with the Bourne movies, they stepped it up and made the third one the best one.

I saw The Bourne Ultimatum yesterday, and wow was Friedkin right. This was the most paranoid movie I have seen since The Parallax View. Joan Allen and Julia Stiles? Yessir! Plus the action scenes were freakin' awesome.

Remember when George got engaged and then Susan wouldn't let him go see Firestorm with Jerry? Instead she and George went to see The Muted Heart with Glen Close and Sally Field. Then when George was leaving the theater, he saw Jerry and his buddy:

Jerry: How about when Harrison Ford jumped out of that plane, and he was shooting back at them as he was falling?

Friend: What about that underwater escape?

Jerry: Oh, man!

Well, when I was driving home from the theater and talking to myself, it was: "How about when Matt Damon was speeding with that car in reverse in the parking ramp, was getting shot at, and couldn't see over the dashboard?"

Awesome movie.

Monday, August 13, 2007

More Rick Johnson - I Love This Guy!

On Elvis Costello:
"Well, let's just say that sitting through both sides of Get Happy! can be a lot like eating an entire bag of Double Stuff Oreos. The first couple of handfuls are taste sensations, but by the time you get to the last cookie, the cream filling seems like you're licking a screen door.

"If all this sounds BORING to you, then join the club. Personally, I think Costello is a rather whiny, one-dimensional performer who's made a legend out of two riffs."

On Journey vocalist Steve Perry:
"To say that he's a whiner does not do the man justice. Perry's a whiner's whiner, squealing away furiously in the implausible air that falls between rarified and denatured. If they ever create a cartoon character based on snot, Steve will no doubt be called upon to do the voice."

On Queen's Greatest Hits:
"If you buy this record for 'Under Pressure', I have some rotten boards with bent rusty nails sticking out for sale that I'd like you to take a look at.

"Anyway, all the hits are here. The gum card opera. The American Nazi Party's cheer rip-off. The cute little ditty that makes best friends hate each other."

Friday, August 10, 2007

Denver Is A Tough Guy Town

David Beckham overcame his owie ankle long enough to make his MLS debut tonight. (With our illegal immigrants actually working, Mr. Posh was giving legal immigration a bad name.) Big surprise, the final score in the game was 1-0. But enough about a dainty Euro who our nation is collectively yawning at. Here's a little something for all those soccer fans who think soccer players are "tough":

Colorado Rockies pitcher Jason Hirsh (birthplace: USA) pitched five innings on Wednesday night with a broken leg!

Hirsh also got the victory.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

"Styx Ain't Half Bad, But They Almost Are."

Okay, anybody who can make TWO great Roman Polanski jokes in a short review of a Starz album (Starz? yes, Starz) deserves my respect and admiration as a writer.

I am talking about Rick Johnson. Until I bought the Rick Johnson Reader: 'Tin Cans, Squeems & Thudpies', I hadn't read anything by him. I just knew he had written for Creem in the seventies and eighties and was considered "the new Lester" after Lester Bangs left the mag. Unfortunately, Johnson died last year. But a former editor of his put together this anthology, and Boy Howdy am I glad. I'm only halfway through the book, but am loving Johnson's wit.

For example:

He shows a nice talent for slipping in TV commercial references, such as referring to Peter Kriss of Kiss as "Meow Mix" and referring to The Who's Who Are You album as a "new pan of Who Helper."

He makes mention of George Harrison's vegetarianism, then later in the review proceeds to write: "... the real meaty parts - woops, sorry George - the real ricey parts of the album ..."

He rips the post-Exile Stones so well I want to photocopy those pages and hand 'em off to anybody who insists on the greatness of Goat's Head Soup. Or for that matter, Some Girls - it's a good album but tends to sound more like a Stones tribute band than the real Stones. I think folks who buy into Stones scams (remember the argument that Steal Wheels was "underrated"?) are ones who haven't spent quality time with Stones music pre-Beggar's Banquet. (Pick up a copy of 12 x 5 already.)

In writing about the Lester Bangs and the Delinquents album, he writes that the songwriting "if it were a nuthouse or prison, would be described as 'seriously understaffed.'"

He states that Warren Zevon would soon be starring in a film titled Zevon Brides For Zevon Brothers

On live albums: "There have been some great live albums (MC5's Kick Out The Jams; I forget the other one.)"

And even more cheap shots at George Harrison.

I have laughed out loud many times while reading this book. I am scared to write about music in the near future, fearing that my subconscious will start inserting stolen Rick Johnson cracks into my writing. Buy it, proceeds from its sale will be donated to a journalism scholarship fund at Johson's alma mater, Western Illinois University.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Thank God The Dingbats Have Left Town

Apparently when Dubya was in town today, he thought he was supposed to talk about the Iraq War. He was quoted as saying: "I make no promises on the timetable."

Yesterday we were, um, blessed by an appearance by the First Lady. I usually refer to Laura Bush as a Stepword Wife.

But yesterday, a friend called her "The Joker", which led me to specifically think that Laura Bush looks uncannily like Cesar Romero as The Joker.

Friday, August 03, 2007

The King and I August 2007 DJ Schedule

1-Wed> BUCK K.A.C. of RSE Radio
2-Thu> Die Monster presents: Christopher Jensen & Jared Thiele
3-Fri> Duets with Dj Fathertime & Miss Sara
4-Sat> BLUNT CITY = JamesPatrick+DanielPaul

6-Mon> E-DAWG!
7-Tue> D.O. +
8-Wed> Plain Ole Bill
9-Thu> Housekeeping with Brian Thomas
10-Fri> VERB X & Brigadier Woodro
11-Sat> Tone & Tonic with Julius Romero

13-Mon> Sigelman
14-Tue> Lisa Mcgrath
15-Wed> Jimmy 2 Times
16-Thu> The Saint
17-Fri> Jennifer + Free i
18-Sat> Fun Boys

20-Mon> Rockit Fuel! is *C-Gull* A-Me* T-Machine* Cecil Otter*
21-Tue> Richy Rivera
22-Wed> Brigadier Woodro of 3 King Sound System
23-Thu> Replicant Soul with Dj Tk
24-Fri> TreeHouse Records
25-Sat> JOBOT

27-Mon> James Leonardo
28-Tue> It Takes All Kinds & Platetektoniks
29-Wed> Things Kings Do... with Mike the 2600 King & King Otto
30-Thu> Ebony & Don Cacheine
31-Fri> Down by Law with Dig Dug

September 2007
1-Sat> Josh Mcdermott...

Djs 10 'til Close!

Late Night Happy Hours:
Monday - Hospitality Night 9 'til Midnight - Cocktail & Appetizer Specials... Plus $2 Buck PBRs all night!
Tuesday - Ladies Club 9 'til 1- Magaritas,Wine & Cocktail Specials
Wednesday - 2 for 1s 9:30 'til 12:30 - Single Shot Cocktails & Cheap Beer
Thursday - 10 'til Midnight - Cocktail, Wine & Beer Specials
Friday - 10 'til Midnight - Cocktail, Wine & Beer Specials
Saturday - 11 "til 1 - Coctail, Wine & Beer Specials
Sunday - Closed!

(Editor's note: These schedules are sent to me by my pal the lounge's bar manager. I'm not 100% sure, but I believe those $2 PBRs on Monday are tallboy sixteen ouncers!)

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Bridge Collapse In Mpls

There was a tragic bridge collapse here tonight in Minneapolis on I-35W. I won't bother linking as you can find info on Yahoo, Strib, etc.

In case you're trying to call me, I shut off my cell phone as officials have asked people not to use their cell phones for the time being. I am okay and just hoping casualties and injuries are minimal.

The Red Cross Twin Cities website

Memorial Blood Centers