Friday, March 30, 2007

Why Notre Dame Lost In The Midwest Regional Final

Trailing by a goal late in the third, they realized that this was a winner-advances game. So even though their opponent was Michigan State, they couldn't play for a tie. They panicked, failed to score the equalizer, and lost.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

North Dakota's All-Time Winning Percentage In The NCAA Tourney is .702, Best Of All Schools

Chris Porter's game-winning goal in the Western Regional final and the ensuing celebration. I didn't count the number of icings the Gophers took in the extra session, but I believe it was five and at least three or four in rapid order. (It's tough to count on your fingers and nervously drink beer at the same time.) Why were the Sioux handily taking the play to the Gophers with the season on the line?

From the Strib:

"They might have had a little more left in the bag than we did," Gophers assistant captain Alex Goligoski said.

Later in the same story:

Lucia said the strong play of the line of Porter, Chris VandeVelde and Matt Watkins was the difference in the game. The line outplayed the Gophers' line of Blake Wheeler, Ben Gordon and Jay Barriball to the point where Lucia had to make a change.

So the Gophers were outconditioned (if that's a word) and their second line was outplayed? Interesting.

You wouldn't know it from watching the Fox Sport North "Gophers Live" post-game show. As Dan Barrerio pointed out, they rolled out the excuse machine. It was pitiful. You know the homerism has run rampant when Jeff Dubay becomes the voice of reason when it comes to Gopher hockey.

So what now for FSN? Maybe they can pretend Sunday's game never happened and that Blake Wheeler got his lunch handed to him by a blue-collar line. FSN can run a continious loop of his shelf-life-of-seven-days WCHA Final Five-clinching goal and continue to ignore the other Division I hockey programs in the area.

The Gopher hockey faithful only have seven months until they can once again tell the rest of us how great their freshmen are. And they have less than ten months to break out their "fatigued from World Juniors" excuse.

And RandBall summarized the 2006-07 Gopher hockey team the best:

"Hey, but they played hard at least most of the time."

Sunday, March 25, 2007

The Cream Rises

In tonight's Western Regional final, the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux knocked off WCHA regular season and WCHA playoff champions the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers 3-2 in OT. The Sioux played better and better as the game went on, and began to take the play to the Gophers. They then took over in overtime and won, fittingly, on a goal by blue-collar captain Chris Porter.

Watching both teams this season, I have noticed trends in how their players celebrate goals:

Minnesota: Score goal, "pop" the big "M" on the jersey (is there a more annoying gesture in college hockey than the jersey pop?), then showboat to the crowd.

North Dakota: Score goal, look to teammates on ice to give acknowledgement, then skate to bench to slap gloves with other teammates.

One program has a reputation as being full of talent but soft, the other is known as blue-collar and hard-working. You can tell from the goal celebrations which is which.

Harder work in tonight's game took one of them to St. Louis for the Frozen Four.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

King Tubby

RandBall posted an image of a King Tubby/The Upsetter record cover in homage to the Gophers hiring Tubby Smith to be their hoops coach.

Now I can't wait until next fall's hoops season so that I can call Smith "King Tubby." In fact, I was oddly rather gleeful about this today. Typical how my mind works:

I'm excited about using a nickname stolen from an artist whose music I'm not that familiar with in reference to a coach of a team I don't cheer for in a sport I don't care about (except come office pool time.)

Anyway, a friend says that King Tubby was "great" and made "weed music." He said he would burn me some. I think he meant CDs.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

How Will All The Dungy-Slurpers Rationalize This One?

Tony Dungy - Nice guy? Never met him, everybody says yes. He seems like a good guy.

Tony Dungy - Great coach? Undoubtably. Super Bowl winner and designer (at Tampa Bay) of one of the great NFL defenses I've seen in my lifetime.

Tony Dungy - Annoying Godboy? For sure. In a recent appearance, he supported a constitutional amendment that defines marriage as between one man and one woman.

According to the article, the pastor at Dungy's church said Dungy previously voiced support after his sermons proclaimed the Bible's opposition to homosexuality.

I wonder if the anti-gay Christians who "proclaim the Bible's opposition to homosexuality" have also sworn off bacon and hot dogs. I seem to recall condemnations on eating pork in the Old Testament also.

Yep, as a country we sure need constitutional amendments to appease all those 19th century Christian cults who selectively read the Bible. Thankfully, the copy of the Constitution I keep in my bookbag promises me freedom from religion.

Sorry Old Testament God and all wackjob Christians: I hope the Colts get fucking destroyed next season.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Ten Reasons Air Force Could Upset Minnesota In The NCAA Regionals

1. The Air Force Academy represents the United States, while the University of Minnesota represents Minnesota. Air Force recruits within its borders, the UM does not. Air Force = USA's "Pride on Ice."

2. Denver's Pepsi Center will have hostile fans of Air Force and North Dakota whose numbers might break three digits.

3. Air Force is used to the high altitude of Colorado, Minnesota is not.

4. This season, Air Force has played Denver University, Colorado College, and Notre Dame tough.

5. The Atlanic Hockey conference is on a one-game winning streak in the NCAAs against Minnesota.

6. Air Force is a military academy, meaning the players are tough and disciplined. The Minnesota players all dyed their hair blonde.

7. Air Force coach Frank Serratorre is a legitimately good coach. He had Denver University on the track to being a good program again, but was fired by a lousy athletic director. (And legend has it that DU hockey boosters soon ran that AD out of town.)

8. Minnesota goalie Kellen Briggs is from Colorado Springs, where the Air Force Academy is located. He will be punished for not playing for his home-town school.

9. No college hockey program fails as spectacularly on the national stage as Minnesota.

10. Air Force runs the option, which a Big Ten team like Minnesota rarely sees.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Somebody Needs To Go Back To School

I was reading an article about giant snowflakes today, and seeing this as the very first sentence made me cringe (emphasis mine):

Since at least the 19th century, people have periodically claimed to see giant snowflakes falling from the sky -- the size of saucers and plates or even larger, their edges turned up, their heaviness making them descend faster than small flakes.

Geez Louise!! How did the writer ever make it out of high school, not to mention to the New York Times, without hearing about Galileo?

Monday, March 19, 2007

Which Odd Goal Involving Gopher Teams Do You Like Best?

Blake Wheeler's Broadmoor Trophy Cup winning goal

Robbie Bina's Clearing Effort

Mike Legg (Back to the Nineties Edition)

No YouTube footage of UND grinder/role player Erik Fabian (he had three goals all season long) destroying the favored Gophers with two goals in the 2005 NCAA semifinals available.
Separated at Birth?

Even though he's a Gopher fan, Chad over at Fraters Libertas is always a fair, solid guy to submit a Separated at Birth? submission to.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

"There Was Never Any Doubt With This Team."

I love Patrick Reusse's writing, and one of the many reasons is that he refuses to slurp the Gopher hockey program. For instance, in today's Strib he writes about the hottest team in college hockey - my UND Fighting Sioux.

Earlier this college hockey season, I had noticed that Reusse had more than once made reference to St. Cloud State goalie Bobby Goepfert in his Strib writings. I think he may have even written a column about him. (Patrick also writes a weekly "Between the Quotes" short-blurb thingy in the sports page.)

While watching my Sioux square off against the SCSU Huskies today, I figured that Reusse might be at the game to cover his boy Goepfert. While Goepfert is a great goalie, he wasn't on his game today. It didn't help that the Sioux jumped all over the Huskies from the opening whistle, but Goepfert did leave some fat rebounds out there that UND's players pumped in for two goals.

So with Reusse at the game but Goepfert and SCSU being run out of the building, what would Patrick write about? My guess was on the great play of Sioux goalie Philippe Lamoureux. He has been overlooked this second half of the season. His stats aren't up there with Goepfert's as he was hurt early and hence didn't play up until his potential until the second half of the season (like his team.) And he is overshadowed by the Toews-Oshie-Duncan line which is probably the best in college hockey. Would Reusse comment on Lammy and his all-but-forgotten-in-hockey ability to "stack the pads"? This would be a great oppurtunity to fit in a Gump Worsley reference!

But Reusse went with another great angle: How this is the third year in a row that coach Dave Hakstol (now in his third year) and his teams have turned it up in the second half of the season and become a force in March and beyond.

A very good long-time friend of mine has always said of college hockey: "Nobody wins a championship in November." Dave Hakstol's Sioux teams have show how you can dismiss the early-season trends. Now if they could just win a championship in April ... ah, but there is hardware to win tonight. Go Sioux!

(and thanks Reusse.)

Friday, March 16, 2007

Et Tu?

Beware The Ides of Marth.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Now I Genuinely AM Pissed Over Lucas Ripping Off Doom To Come Up With Vader


1) The Finnish and Hungarian languages are from the same family of languages.

2) Latverian is a derivative of Hungarian.

Which means that ...

3) There is a distinct chance that the Hungarian (and hence Latverian) and Finnish peoples originated from the same ancient people.

It follows that: I might be distantly related to Doctor Doom!

Bah! The likes Reed Richards and Nick Fury are just pawns in my game! They continually threaten to "take the kids glove off" when facing me, but Doctor Von Tuomala always outsmarts them!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Puliltzer Prize For College Sports Writing

From The Dakota Student Last Month:

The impending move to D-I makes UND look extra pretty to perspective students. The recruits understand the prestige that the D-I label brings, and they want to be a part of that when the move occurs. I would liken it to being Eva Mendes' pretend homosexual friend: Instant fun and good company, but if you stick with it you some day may get to partake in a topless pillow fight.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

A Role Bush Is Not Qualified For Post-Presidency: Slopping The Hogs (Because We Want The Hogs To Be Fed)

I just read the story about the FBI's abuses of the Patriot Act. This line jumped out at me:

"When it comes to national security, sloppiness should be reserved for the hog lot, not the FBI," said Grassley, a farmer.

The NSA has a hog lot??

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

King and I March 2007 DJ Schedule

Fri - 2> Dj Fathertime's 1977 Edition pt.II
Sat - 3> Tone & Tonic with Julius Romero

Mon - 5> E-DAWG!
Tue - 6> D.O. & D.G.
Wed - 7> BUCK K.A.C. of RSE Radio
Thu - 8> Housekeeping with Brian Thomas
Fri - 9> Jennifer & Free I
Sat - 10> Fun Boys and Exiled on Main Street Present:
"Who the Fuck is Chad Hagen?"

Mon - 12> Sigelman & Harding
Tue - 13> Lisa's tuesday night Dance Party
Wed - 14> Plain Ole Bill
Thu - 15> The Saint
Fri - 16> Don Cuco
Sat - 17> Blunt City is JamesPatrick + DanielPaul

Mon - 19> Rockit Fuel! is C-Gull, A-Me, T-Machine + Paddy-O
Tue - 20> Joseph Scott
Wed - 21> Nikoless
Thu - 22> Brigadier Woodro of 3King Sound System
Fri - 23> Wicked
Sat - 24> Nancy Cheng

Mon - 26> James Leonardo
Tue - 27> Dig Dug
Wed - 28> Things Kings Do... is King Otto & Mike the 2600 King
Thu - 29> Ebony & Don Cacheine
Fri - 30> Treehouse Records
Sat - 31> JOBOT

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Music and Drinks, King and I Lounge, Saturday March 10th

You're invited to the King and I Lounge when Chad Hagen, Justin Martinez, Benjamin Pagel, and Bill Tuomala deejay a night of rock 'n' roll.

The music starts at 10:30 p.m.

King and I Thai
1346 LaSalle Ave.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Take This Quiz!

The "Which American Accent Do You Have?" quiz. No offense to any of you who were raised in North Dakota or Minnesota, but I'm more interested in the results from those of you who are from (or live) elsewhere.

To nobody's surprise, my accent is North Central, aka "The Minnesota Accent" aka "The Fargo Accent."

Friday, March 02, 2007

Old Guy Tries To Keep Up With Kids These Days

My main man Mark (who I've been meaning to email regarding Be Bop Deluxe for a couple of weeks) has "tagged" me about a "meme." Hmmm. Being old and all, I'm still not sure what a meme is. That word is one of those new ones beyond me and when I see or hear it, I get a blanked-out feeling in my brain like I do when I hear terms like "fark" or "postmodern."

But hey, I'm game. From reading Mark's post, I've deduced that I'm supposed to: post the fifth through eighth sentences on page 123 of the imaginary book nearest me. That book happens to be Outhouse To Penthouse To Rejection Slips From Penthouse: The Writing Life of Bill Tuomala, written by Paula Belmont and Ari McKee:

It was around this time that he came up with strange, self-serving monikers. Aparrently pulled from sports broadcasts, Altman movies, consulting firms' PR materials (and many many more sources); they were both cryptic and arrogant. Hence acquitances would hear Tuomala refer to himself as: "The best money player in the game;" "The pro from Dover;" "Your last, best, option;" "The only bookkeeper that matters;" and "Billy Talent." Even weirder, he would insist to anyone he met that he was the vice-presidential candidate on the Democratic ballot for 2008's national election ... "the Obama/Tuomala ticket."

I would tag other people I know, but I have the feeling that the vast majority of my friends would say "what the fuck is a meme??" So I'll instead tag five imaginary writer friends of mine: Jim Steranko, William Shakespeare, Joan Didion, S.E. Hinton, and Harlan Ellison.