Sunday, June 26, 2005

I Need To Go To The Homeland For Its Midsummer Holiday Sometime

The Finns want a piece of Italy's Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. And who, when speaking proudly of their country's couisine, brings up HAM? It's a lunchmeat fer chrissakes.

Loved this part:

Finland began its midsummer holiday Friday, with most Finns leaving the cities to grill sausages over open fires, eat pickled herrings and drink beer and vodka.

Oddly enough (or maybe not, considering my genetics), I found myself last night enjoying beer, vodka, and pickled herring. And I also cooked some sausages hot dogs over an open fire on the George Foreman grill.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Because He's Like an Evil Pillsbury Doughboy

Hey Karl Rove: It's not often that someone makes me want to use two of my favorite Susie Green quotes in one sentence, but you are both a four-eyed fuck AND a fat piece of shit. Anytime you wanna see how soft a liberal is ... just meet me in the alley on 34th Street between Harriet and Garfield, big boy. I'll drop you like a bag of cement.

Friday, June 24, 2005

The VP Is Too Smart To Be in Dreamland, So It's Safe to Assume He's Feeding Us Yet Again Another Line of Bullshit

Vice President Dick Cheney is once again wondering what it will take to get you into this car today:

We will succeed in Iraq, just like we did in Afghanistan. We will stand up a new government under an Iraqi-drafted constitution. We will defeat that insurgency, and, in fact, it will be an enormous success story."

This is the same man who said the following on "Meet the Press.":

Tim Russert: If your analysis is not correct, and we’re not treated as liberators, but as conquerors, and the Iraqis begin to resist, particularly in Baghdad, do you think the American people are prepared for a long, costly, and bloody battle with significant American casualties?

Vice President Cheney: Well, I don’t think it’s likely to unfold that way, Tim, because I really do believe that we will be greeted as liberators.

Notice he used the phrase "in fact" when he completely got the aftermath of the conquest of Iraq wrong and now uses it again in his prediction of the Iraq quagmire somehow becoming an enormous success story. Would you buy a used car from this man? No more American deaths in a war that was fed to Americans through repeated lines of bullshit. Bring the troops home from Iraq now.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

We Can All Breathe a Little Easier

The House of Representative has stepped up to the plate to help end the nationwide epidemic of flag-burning that threatens the very heart and soul of the good ol' US of A.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Rock 'n' Roll Tonight!

My friends Larry and Naked Jesus are on the bill tonight at the Uptown.

I'll be there around 9:30 p.m. Show up and buy me beer. Thanks.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night

There's probably nothing more boring than hearing about someone's dreams, but tough luck. Weird dreams I had last night:

1) I'm walking along a walkway on the St. Paul riverfront with Norm Coleman. We're having a beer and he's pointing out all these huge construction projects that will be starting up soon. He's a genuinely nice guy, not at all salesman-slick, and I keep thinking I need to apologize on my blog for calling him Bush's butt boy.

2) I'm in the Country Bar sipping on kamikazes. I should know this is a dream because the bartender is a man, and the Country Bar only has female bartenders. Same dream - the next day the Country Bar closes and I'm helping clear out the bar's furniture and equipment. I grab my friend Scott, who's helping also, and yell: "They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!"

3) I'm at Chicago's Midway Airport and can't find my car in the parking ramp. Actually, I can't find the parking ramp. I think this is like a Seinfeld episode but not funny because I'm in it.

The whole night was filled with stuff like this. I may need a (hopefully dream-free) nap later today to clear my head.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Friday, June 17, 2005

Karl Mueller, Rest in Peace

Way too young to go. My condolences to Karl's family and friends.

From the Strib:

Karl Mueller, the longtime bass player for Minneapolis' best-known rock band Soul Asylum, died early today after a long battle with throat cancer. He was 41.

Mueller co-founded Soul Asylum in 1984 along with friends Dave Pirner and Dan Murphy. The band enjoyed several years of underground and critical success, but was best known for its multi-platinum 1992 release "Grave Dancer's Union" and the hit "Runaway Train."

Mueller was diagnosed with throat cancer in May 2004 and underwent radiation treatment. The cancer was in remission when, in October, a legion of Twin Cities music scene veterans banded together for a "Rock for Karl" benefit concert at the Quest to help defray Mueller's medical costs.
Candidate Makes Solid Early Impression

Robert Fitzgerald dropped a comment on the "Beer for Breakfast" post below. He understood the title significance of the post and proceeded to quote a line from the Replacements' "Beer for Breakfast." It turns out that Robert is a candidate for the US Senate in Minnesota. Anybody who can quote obscure 'Mats tunes is halfway towards getting my vote.

Let's see if Mark Kennedy checks in with some Husker Du stuff ...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

What Exactly Did He Do For St. Paul Again?

Bush administration butt boy scores big-time. Senator Quimby - who likes him and why? I'm genuinely curious.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Beer for Breakfast

I drove by my favorite breakfast place, Curran's, last night and saw a sign saying that they now serve beer and wine. I always associate Curran's with: 1) Reading the sports page while diving into a #1 breakfast, and 2) A healthy, glowing coffee buzz as I walk out.

It'll be strange to see folks tipping back a few while I chow down those eggs and American fries. Then again, I also wonder if they'll have Summit.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

End Your Hunger Strikes!

Hatch sister babes cleared in Chicago.

Notable quotes:

... Both women burst into tears and hugged each other fiercely ...

... the women stood holding hands tightly as they had throughout the trial, which began Wednesday. The sisters called the city a great place. "I love Chicago," Anne Hatch said ...

... Sheehan found Anne Hatch not guilty of criminal damage to property even though she said on the stand Friday morning that she tried to kick out the window of a squad car after she was handcuffed. Hatch said she was desperately trying to help her sister, who was screaming that her arm was being broken by an officer. Asked how hard she kicked, Anne Hatch replied, "I'm a soccer player. It was a good kick."

Just gotta provide a link to this photo.

Friday, June 10, 2005

You Heard It Here First

A few weeks back, I spun this theory: The Detroit Pistons win their second consecutive NBA title. Larry Brown "retires." Weeks later, Brown is hired as the new coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves. I can't wait.

Monday, June 06, 2005


Yesterday on Radio K's Sunday Special I said that I believed that Shadow Morton produced Archie Bell & the Drells "(There's Gonna Be a) Showdown." I was wrong, that song was of course produced by Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff. Music geeks worldwide are likely disgusted with me.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

The Sunday Special

Today's the day I'll be on the radio spinning tunes - it should be tons of fun. Tune in if you get a chance. Details to the right.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Uncle Buck Two, Starring Shawn Hatosy as Bill Tuomala

A warm welcome to the latest addition to the Tuomala family - my niece Aili Mae Jia Armstrong. My sister Sandy and her husband Greg brought her home from China today. She's a complete doll and I can tell already that even at fourteen months she's ahead of me in the smarts department. I'll be recruiting her to play on my Trivial Pursuit team in the future.

A guy from one of the other couples making the same China trip detailed his trip in his blog. Complete with photos of my sis and family and smiley Aili.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Aside from the Corruption, the Illegal Bombing of Cambodia, and the Anti-Semitism ...

I got the creeps watching "Hardball" the other night and Andrea Mitchell read this part of the White House tapes to Chris Matthews. The "Nixon would have been a great president (if only he weren't a crook)" revisionists can chew on this one:

Nixon: “What can we do about it?”

Halderman: “If we move on him, he‘ll go out and unload everything. He knows everything that‘s to be known in the FBI. He has access to absolutely everything.”

Nixon: “What would do you with Felt?”

Halderman: “Well, I‘d ask Dean.”

Nixon: “What the hell would he do?”

Halderman: “He says you can‘t prosecute him, that he hasn‘t committed any crime. Dean‘s concerned if you let him know, he‘ll go out and go on network television.”

Nixon: “Is he a Catholic?”

Halderman says: “Jewish.”

Nixon: “Christ, put a Jew in there?”

Halderman: “Well, that could explain it, too.”

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Deep Throat, Patriot

It was hilarious to see the weasels and crooks from the Nixon administration crawl out from under their rocks last night to appear on MSNBC and talk about the unveiling of Deep Throat. Liddy still wants to kill Dean and bragged about his plan to break into the Brookings Institution. (He claims the plan was shot down for being "too expensive.") Dean thinks Felt isn't really Deep Throat because he wrote a book about unmasking Deep Throat and Felt doesn't match his findings. Buchanan (who, to be fair, isn't a crook ... he rubs me the wrong way a lot but anybody who drank tons of whiskey with Hunter S. Thompson and chipped in with a tribute to HST in Rolling Stone isn't a weasel either) is still in deep deep love with Nixon and went so far as to call Felt "a traitor."

Whatta bunch of losers. Deep Throat is a hero who helped bring a corrupt and criminal president down. Hats off to Mark Felt.

(And ain't it great to hear the words "Deep Throat" uttered every twenty seconds on cable news?)