The Minnesota Strip

Last night, I downloaded this song by the Dictators called "The Minnesota Strip." Lurking in my head were a couple of inspirations:

1) I saw Drivin' n' Cryin' cover it at First Avenue circa 1992.

2) I saw (parts of?) a made-for-TV movie while in high school called "Off the Minnesota Strip" about a girl from Minnesota who returned home after running away. She had ended up turning tricks on The Minnesota Strip in NYC. Turns out this movie was written by David Chase of The Sopranos fame.

Somehow I was aware of this song, originally recorded in 1978, well before hearing DNC cover it fifteen years ago. Or at the very least I knew that the Minnesota Strip was a street on NYC where you could score blonde girls from Minnesota, all because of that TV movie I saw in high school.

In semi-related news, that prostitution ring that was busted last week in the Twin Cities had a brothel placed five blocks from where I live and it was only a block from my local Wendy's.

Typing all of this has creeped me out and I need to take a shower. Though I'll undoubtably listen to that Dictators song again tonight.

No Cure For This Cancer

Who was the prophet that wrote the following words over two years ago?

What will Randy Moss do once he figures out that the Raiders don't exactly have the brain trust or talent in hand to win a Super Bowl or contend on a regular basis? My guess: Pout, mail it in, and take his sorry act elsewhere. There will always be a gullible NFL general manager willing to pony up.

Oh wait, that was me.

Great insights on "the next Jerry Rice" from Moss's offensive coordinator in a Boston Globe article last week:

"His whole game in Minnesota was outside the numbers [on or near the sidelines]. For him to run shallow crosses and in-routes was new for him. Initially, he showed all the interest but later on . . . I don't know."

(Hey, wasn't that also me who referred to Moss as "too chickenshit to catch a ball thrown over the middle"?)

"Andrew Walter was at quarterback. He makes the play-fake and a huge hole opens up for Randy in the middle of the field but he's running down the sideline. Walter nearly threw his arm out pulling the ball back. When Randy gets to the sidelines, [wide receivers coach] Freddie Biletnikoff says, 'What were you doing?'

"Randy told Fred, 'I didn't feel like running the 6 route on the dirt part of the infield.' That's the Randy I coached. There were some games where out of 28 plays he'd have 13 or 14 busts. Wrong routes, wrong reads. Dogging it. Whatever."

Randy Moss ... "he'll go down as better than Jerry Rice" as so many misguided Purple fans probably still believe ... or only worth a fourth-round draft pick in a trade? Seems that determination has already been made.

Heidi Part Two

Today's Sabres vs. Senators game on NBC went to overtime and the Senators just won minutes ago to advance to the Stanley Cup finals. So where did one catch the OT? You would think on NBC. But no, NBC - the same network that brought you The Heidi Game - broadcast the overtime on Versus.

Why? The Preakness is being broadcast on NBC about AN HOUR FROM NOW as I type this, but NBC felt they had to broadcast all of that pre-race excitement. Aside from the NHL, Versus shows sports/events like bull riding, yachting, and bicycle racing. You would think NBC would move a "sport" like horse racing to Versus where it would be a natural fit.

It's no skin off of my back, I have Versus on my cable programming. But what about those people out there who don't have cable and look forward to catching NHL hockey on network TV on weekends? What about the lonely hockey fan watching the game in a sports bar where he doesn't have the audio informing him of the channel change?

On a slightly related note ... it's a hassle to watch NHL games while working out at the YMCA - you can only change those channels one at a time and it's quite a workout in itself to get all the way up to Versus's channel 68. Yeah. Nice deal, Bettman.

Who Snuck That Photo Of The Fighting Sioux Featured In A Win Over SCSU Into This Article? (Not Me, Seriously)

Minnesota is today's featured article at Wikipedia.

Things I learned from skimming the article:

The name Minnesota comes from the word for the Minnesota River in the Dakota language, mnisota. The Dakota word Mni (sometimes spelled mini, or minne) can be translated as "water". Mnisota is then translated as sky-tinted water or somewhat clouded water.

Hmm. We better change the name of the state to appease all those "speak English or get out" bigots.

Its isolated Northwest Angle in Lake of the Woods is the only part of the 48 contiguous states lying north of the 49th Parallel.

In your face, Canada! Or maybe its: In your face, rest of you borders-on-the-49th-parallel states!

Potlucks, usually with a variety of hotdish casseroles, are popular at community functions, especially church activities.

I brought this one up just to point out how much I hate potlucks and am glad I no longer work in offices where "hey let's have a potluck on Friday!" was signal for me to remember on Friday to skip out for lunch to the City Center food court. When I was temping, I even called in fake-sick once to avoid a potluck.

I also found out that the Twin Cities is the 16th-largest metropolitan area in the United States. And here I thought it was the 13th or 14th.

Music and Drinks, King and I Lounge, Saturday May 12th

You're invited to the King and I Lounge when the Fun Boys and yours truly deejay a night of rock 'n' roll.

The music starts at 10:30 p.m. Hopefully that Sabres vs. Senators game won't go into OT so I can see the whole game and still get to the bar on time.

King and I Thai
1346 LaSalle Ave.
Minneapolis

Here is the lounge's schedule for the rest of the month:

9 - Wed> Plain Ole Bill
10 - Thu> Housekeeping with Brian Thomas
11 - Fri> Don Cuco
12 - Sat> Fun Boys

14 - Mon> Sigelman
15 - Tue> Jobot
16 - Wed> Nikoless
17 - Thu> The Saint
18 - Fri> Jennifer + Free I
19 - Sat> Eidolon & Jeff Wong

21 - Mon> Rockit Fuel! = C-Gull, T-Machine & A-Me
22 - Tue> King Otto
23 - Wed> Brigadier Woodro of 3 King Sound System
24 - Thu> Replicant Soul with Dj Tk
25 - Fri> Treehouse Records
26 - Sat> Wicked

28 - Mon> Closed for Memorial Day
29 - Tue> James Leonardo
30 - Wed> Mike the 2600 King, Cecil Otter & Papillon
31 - Thu> Ebony & Don Cacheine

"Don't Tread On Me"

It's kinda hard working up my usual anti-royalty ire when the visiting monarch is a white-haired 97-year old lady. But as Craig Crawford points out, we Americans have no business bowing to royaltly.

I'll instead direct my barbs at the British and all the other assorted rubes across the globe who believe in royalty. Last time I checked, all men were created equal. If you think someone rules over you by priviledge of birth, you're an idiot. Especially if you're British and are being "ruled" by a German family.

And I loved Michael Wilbon's quote today on Pardon the Interruption. During "Tossup," when asked if he'd rather dine with the queen or with the jockey who won the Kentucky Derby, Wilbon chose the jockey. Then he threw in a jab at the queen, saying that she: "would probably want me to stand on her lawn when dinner was over."

Yowsa!

I will take Jessica Lynch shopping at Gap Kids any day or night of the week.

Speaking of Seinfeld ...

Remember this episode?

George: Hey, what about this? I'm in a car accident. The motorist is uninsured, you with me?

Jerry: Yeah.

George: My car's totaled. It's all his fault and now, he has absolutely no money. There is no way that he can pay me. So the judge decrees that he becomes my butler.

Jerry: Your butler?

George: Right. He cooks my food, he cleans my house, he does all my shopping for me. And there you go, that's your program.

Well, I was watching The Andy Griffith Show on TV Land tonight. It was an episode where an English chap on a bicycle causes an accident that damages a Mayberry native's pickup truck. The English guy doesn't have the money to pay for the damage, so he agrees to help Andy around the house. He's horrible as a handyman, but it turns out HE'S A BUTLER and does all of Aunt Bee's duties while she is out of town.

All Warmups Are Taped, But There's No Video Of The Incident? Interesting.

Anaheim Ducks coach Randy Carlyle is funny, and I don't know if it's on purpose. Ducks star Teemu Selanne was hit with a puck and cut during warmups before a Ducks/Wild game a few weeks back. Though conventional wisdom is that Selanne was hit by friendly fire, Carlyle says it was the Wild that intentionally fired the puck at Selanne:

[Selanne] was heading on the far side of the rink, with the glass over here [pointing left] and the net behind him. And he got hit on this side [above right eye], so it's Crime Scene Investigation. The trajectory of the puck had to come from the other end of the ice or from center. He was skating toward center. He got hit on this side [above the right eye].

Hmmm. It reminds me of dialogue from a classic scene from Seinfeld:

JERRY: What happened to your head when you got hit?

KRAMER: Well. Uh, well my head went back and to the left.

JERRY: Again.

KRAMER: Back and to the left.

JERRY: Back and to the left. Back and to the left.

ELAINE: So, what are you saying?

JERRY: I am saying that the spit could not have come from behind ... that there had to have been a second spitter behind the bushes on the gravelly road. If the spitter was behind you as you claimed that would have caused your head to pitch forward.

ELAINE: So the spit could have only come from the front and to the right.

Less Than 21 Months To Go ...

Regarding yesterday's veto of the war spending bill, from Reuters:

Bush spokeswoman Dana Perino said the president would "make good on his word" to block any bill that set deadlines for leaving Iraq.

Democrats appear to have timed the delivery of their bill for Tuesday's fourth anniversary of Bush's landing on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific Ocean where he declared that major combat had ended in Iraq after the March 2003 invasion. The deck was decorated with a "Mission Accomplished" banner.

Bush's opponents want to remind Americans that four years later U.S. troops remain bogged down in Iraq, where more than 3,300 American military personnel have been killed.

"It is a trumped-up political stunt that is the height of cynicism," Perino said.

Trumped-up political stunt?? Like having a commander-in-chief who ducked out of Vietnam dress up in a flight suit and strut around on a carrier and declare "Mission Accomplished"??

(Though nobody has ever looked hotter than Perino while issuing the doublespeak.)