On Elvis Costello:
"Well, let's just say that sitting through both sides of Get Happy! can be a lot like eating an entire bag of Double Stuff Oreos. The first couple of handfuls are taste sensations, but by the time you get to the last cookie, the cream filling seems like you're licking a screen door.
"If all this sounds BORING to you, then join the club. Personally, I think Costello is a rather whiny, one-dimensional performer who's made a legend out of two riffs."
On Journey vocalist Steve Perry:
"To say that he's a whiner does not do the man justice. Perry's a whiner's whiner, squealing away furiously in the implausible air that falls between rarified and denatured. If they ever create a cartoon character based on snot, Steve will no doubt be called upon to do the voice."
On Queen's Greatest Hits:
"If you buy this record for 'Under Pressure', I have some rotten boards with bent rusty nails sticking out for sale that I'd like you to take a look at.
"Anyway, all the hits are here. The gum card opera. The American Nazi Party's cheer rip-off. The cute little ditty that makes best friends hate each other."