Who's The Arsehole?

The April issue of MOJO has a feature on Queen that has drummer Roger Taylor relating a tale of playing shows with Lynyrd Skynyrd in Germany in 1971. (The date is doubtful, see note at bottom.) Taylor says:

"They were awful. They were Southern rednecks and they could not believe it when they saw us four caked in make-up and dressed like women. They were outraged, confused and a little frightened, because the four nancy boys were giving them quite a run for their money on-stage ... God, Lynyrd Skynyrd! They were arseholes, frankly. When they played that song 'Free Bird' it seemed to go for months. As I remember they had three lead guitarists. Hmmm, well we only seemed to need one. Absolute arseholes. Later on they had that terrible fatal plane crash, didn't they? Shouldn't speak ill of the dead ... bollocks to that!"

Hey Roger Taylor:

The guys in Lynyrd Skynyrd went through the South in the late sixties and early seventies as rock-n-rollers with long hair! Do you think the sight of four effeminate limeys would scare them after facing all the good-old-boy roadside bars and backwoods joints they played while woodshedding? Ever heard Charlie Daniels' "Uneasy Rider"?

If you are stupidly going to refer to the members of Skynyrd as "rednecks" because they were from the South (which, by the way Rog, is where rock 'n' roll was born), then I am going to refer to you and your fellow bandmates as "swishy Brits." And it's off the topic, but why has your country continued to make such pussified rock 'n' roll for the past quarter-century or so? Is the swishiness in your blood or what?

And yes, while Skynyrd had three guitarists, they also didn't have to spend eight months in the studio overdubbing/multitracking/whatevering to come up with "Workin' For MCA" or "Saturday Night Special" - rockers which simply and straightly kick the ass of anything you and your mates ever came up with. "Free Bird" goes on for months? You're one to talk - how about "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that "We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions" monstrosity? Fuck, at least Skynyrd wasn't channeling a Nuremberg rally. I'll put the original Skynyrd's output of Pronounced through Street Survivors up against anything your cute little band came up with any time.

"Bollocks" to respect for the dead? I agree. When Freddie Mercury croaked, I did a shot and cracked a beer and broke down and cried! Queen could never again get together to create more gems like "Bicycle Race"! Oh no! The tragedy! No more pretentious, overblown, aristocratic British rock! No more brilliance ala "Body Language"! Boo-hoo! What a loss!

Finally, Roger, let's get something straight. Lynyrd Skynyrd was one of the finest, toughest, rock 'n' roll bands ever. Queen was an overblown, crappy pomposity of an outfit that performed show tunes covered up with a buncha overdubbed guitars and vocals. And as I type this, I sincerely hope that wherever they are ... Ronnie Van Zant is busting a pool cue over Freddie Mercury's skull.

(Note: A letter-writer in the June issue of MOJO points out that the concerts occurred in 1974 and sent a photo of a ticket stub to prove it. Makes sense as Skynyrd was still in the bars in '71 and Queen's first album didn't come out until '73 - sloppy fact-checking by MOJO. The letter-writer also says at the show he attended that Skynyrd blew people away and half the crowd left before Queen came on. He and his pals got bored with Queen after a few numbers and also left.)