Billy's Best, Favorite, And Worst Of 2004
(or)
Geez, Dude, How Self-Referential Can You Get?

Favorite 2004 Albums By Artists I Didn't Previously Own Other Albums By:

Neko Case - The Tigers Have Spoken
Eagles of Death Metal - Peace, Love, Death Metal
The Hold Steady Almost Killed Me
Naked Jesus - The Nude Testament
Friends Like These - Deliver Us From Evil EP

Favorite Pre-2004 Albums By Artists I Didn't Previously Own Other Albums By:

Atmosphere - Seven's Travels
The Fabulous Charlie Rich
Bobby "Blue" Bland - Two Steps From The Blues
Bee Gees Gold Vol. 1
Vanilla Fudge
Billy's Best Of Bubblegum
The Everly Brothers - 24 Original Classics

Favorite Band of the Year, Past or Present: Cheap Trick

Best Show: PJ Harvey at First Avenue, October

Worst Rock Trend: Okay these bands have likely been around for a while, but I'm sick of long crappy band names that have death themes in their titles ... Death Cab For Cutie, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Dogs Die In Hot Cars - I can't hum or name a single tune you do, but I hate you all. Please go away.

Best Beer (Spendy): Lowenbrau

Best Beer (Cheap): Schlitz

Best Country Bar Moment: Cute Punk Rock Chick kissing me at the ATM. Some accounts say it was a makeout session, but it depends who's telling the story and how much you buy into the Tuomala Myth.

Best Country Bar Moment #2: My favorite bartender showing me the jeans she got for Christmas ... while she was wearing them.

Best CC Club Moment: On my birthday, dancing to Marty Robbins's "El Paso" ... with a Mexican girl.

Best Homer Simpson Food: Scotch Egg at Brit's.

Best Tuomala Artistic Non-Writing Achievement: Hey Kids! Poster

Best Tuomala Writing Achievement That Was Ripped Off: Dan "The Common Man" Cole on KFAN declaring that: "If Bush had been in office during the Cuban Missile Crisis, he would have invaded Mexico." (Common emailed me and apologized for the theft.)

Best Tuomala Flip-Flop: Cats now rule. Dogs slobber and bark too much.

Best Athletic Achievement: With my cousin Will, winning the Parvey Family Jart Tournament. For any Parveys reading: 1) I am the only Parvey to win with three different partners (carrying me); and 2) I hold the record for longest stretch between championships - fifteen years, 1989 to 2004.

Best & Worst Athletic Achievement: Waterskiing on Labor Day weekend at age 39; then wiping out and hitting the water at 40 mph, leaving a huge bruise up the back of my right leg up to my lower back. Okay, it was actually 38 mph but I rounded up.

Best Tuomala Line: (When asked by a girl if it mattered to me whether breasts were real or fake.) "I'm more of an ass man."