Secret Nixon

What I had neglected to mention in my essay on Secret Honor in the lastest issue of Exiled was the other great secret Nixon in popular culture. I think I had made a mental note to put it in the preliminary notes that led to my essay, but failed to do so.

The other great secret Nixon is from The Onion's 1999 book Our Dumb Century. It treats Nixon like the lawbreaker he was. The late Gerald Ford's pardon of Nixon only highlights his criminal behavior. (I agree with what Chris Matthews said today: For Nixon to be pardoned, he should have signed a full confession to his crimes.) The successive headlines from The Onion:

NIXON ORDERED TO HAND OVER 8-TRACK TAPES
Contents of Tapes Leaked to Washington Post by Anonymous Source Known as 'Deep Purple'

NIXON ARRRESTED IN CONNECTION WITH WATERGATE BREAK-IN
President Handcuffed, Taken to Prison in Oval Office Bust
Chief Executive Resists Arrest, Threatens Officers
Judge Sirica Denies Bail

NIXON ESCAPES
VP Agnew Assists Nixon in Escape, Drives Getaway Car
Pair Believed to Be Headed to Mexico in '71 Dodge Dart
Executive Branch 'Armed and Extremely Dangerous'

FEDS GUN DOWN NIXON OUTSIDE ARIZONA HOTEL
FBI Agents Bring Down Fugitive President in Hail of Gunfire
6-Day, 10-State Executive Killing Spree Comes to End: Agnew Still at Large