The Key To A Jacksonville Upset?

I like to imagine Jaguars assistant head coach Mike Tice as the Lester Freamon of Jacksonville's film room.

Favorite Linemate: Daisy Buchanan

I'm watching the Sioux vs. Michigan Tech in hockey on my Mac and Tech has a player named "Jordan Baker." I think play-by-play man Pat Sweeney gets it, as he always refers to Baker by both first and last names and not simply as "Baker" as he normally would. Plus any time Baker is anywhere near the puck, Sweeney slips in a "Jordan Baker" somehow.

If I were at the game, I would be chanting "Gatsby! Gatsby! Gatsby!" whenever Baker is on the ice. I know "Carraway!" is the more appropriate chant, but "Gatsby" sounds better.

This Pizza Would Not Be A Super Bowl Party Spoiler

A Grafton, North Dakota convenience store comes up huge pizza-wise. 52 x 15 inches, 15 pounds!

Classy of the mayor to quitely stay behind the scenes on this one.

This Saturday

Saturday, January 12th - You're invited to the King and I Lounge when Geoffrey Trelstad and Bill Tuomala deejay a night of rock 'n' roll.

The music starts at 10:30 p.m.

King and I Thai
1346 LaSalle Ave.
Minneapolis

My 2007 Top Ten Netflix Movies That I Had Not Seen Before

I don't write about movies too well. You will likely never hear me use the term "cinematography" because not only do I have to slow down to spell it, I'm certain that I can't spit it out vocally without pausing halfway through. So here's my ten favorite movies I watched from the comfort of my bunker last year, and I'll use lots of words like "great," "brilliant" and "top-notch." Oh, and in 2007 I noticed that I am turning many Internet terms into verbs. This is the natural follow-up to the verb "google", i.e. "I'm gonna Netflix that" and "I Mapquested the address and found it no problem."

1) Superbad

2) The Prestige - I walked around for a week after seeing this, blabbing to all my friends on how "cool and awesome" it was. Everybody seemed to have it mixed up with some movie Edward Norton was in. Same director as Batman Begins!

3) Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf? - Dialogue so cruel and timeless that it was collected on a two-LP set. My Richard Burton fascination started here.

4) Zodiac - David Fincher can take me anywhere. Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, and Robert Downey Jr. all turn in top-notch performances. Each passing minute while I was watching this I was thinking: "Holy crap - how come nobody told me how great this movie is?"

5) A Scanner Darkly

6) The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - I had never heard of this one until I read that Quentin Tarantino referenced/nicked from it in Reservoir Dogs. Martin Balsam! Walter Fucking Matthau! A gem.

7) The Conversation - Gene Hackman brilliant as always in a Francis Ford Coppola masterpiece.

8) The Night of the Iguana - Oh Lord, how hot an "old" Ava Gardner (age 42) is here. Look at how her eyes dance and how she gleefully smiles as Richard Burton's character falls apart. Wow. I think I was prompted to watch this one soon after reading her quote on Frank Sinatra marrying Mia Farrow: "I always knew he would end up in bed with a little boy."

9) Lolita - Peter Sellers! James Fucking Mason! "It was your cherry pies." "Camp Climax."

10) The Upside of Anger - Netflix has this characterized as a romance, but Joan Allen portrays a drunk. As does Kevin Costner, and he holds his own. The Joan Allen slow burn rules.

"Our Business Is Making Change"

All the talk among the Democratic candidates about who would be best at making "change" reminds me of a classic Saturday Night Live commercial.

The Little Eleven, What A Joke

Combined score of SEC schools (Florida and Louisiana State) vs. Ohio State in the last two BCS "championship" games: SEC 79, OSU 38. Way to hang in there, Buckeyes.

If we can't get a playoff, could we at least impose a moratorium on Little Eleven teams playing for the so-called championship?

Straight Out Of The Movies

Time named Vladimir Putin its Person of the Year for 2007, and scored a rare interview with him. It was fascinating to hear the leader of a world power use words such as this:

"I wouldn't call NATO a putrid corpse of the cold war, but it is a leftover of the past, indeed."

The King And I January Schedule ... The 12th Is Looking Good ...

7-Mon> Rockit Fuel! is C-Gull, Heavy Metal Amy, T-Machine, Tanner & Cecil Otter
8-Tue> Lisa McGrath
9-Wed> Plain Ole Bill
10-Thu> Housekeeping with Brian Thomas
11-Fri> Verb X
12-Sat> Exiled on Main Street & Papillon

14-Mon> E-DAWG!
15-Tue> D.O. & D.G.
16-Wed> Dj Nikoless
17-Thu> The Saint
18-Fri> Mrs McFeely, Natural Ice, 20,000 Leagues Under the Scene & Bjorn
19-Sat> Blunt City = jamespatrick+danielpaul

21-Mon> Rockit Fuel! is C-Gull, Heavy Metal Amy, T-Machine, Tanner & Cecil Otter
22-Tue> D.O. & D.G.
23-Wed> Jimmy Two Times
24-Thu> Replicant Soul with Dj Tk
25-Fri> Treehouse Records
26-Sat> JOBOT

28-Mon> James Leonardo
29-Tue> It Takes All Kinds... Platetektoniks
30-Wed> Petey Wheatstraw
31-Thu> WES NILE VIRUS

"On The Midnight Shift I'm Rarely Sober"

I have been on record before as saying that I think that The Wire is the greatest TV series ever. Finishing up season four on DVD New Year's Eve night further confirms this for me.

Amazon.com has three prequels on their site:

1) Young Prop Joe
2) Young Omar
3) When Bunk met McNulty

Two The Wire things happened to me today:

1) I was at Office Max getting some office supplies and ran into the owner of the Country Bar. She asked what I did for New Year's and I said I had watched The Wire. We chatted a little more, then parted ways. Soon a young black man approached me and said I he had overheard that I had watched the show. He said he hasn't missed an episode and asked for my "honest assessment." I told him it was the greatest TV series ever, that it seems so real, that everybody - good guys, bad guys, - comes across as truly human. He nodded in agreement and thanked me for sharing my opinion. We both agreed that maybe it's best that the show will end after its soon-to-air fifth season - it might be best to go out while doing its best.

2) On Pardon the Interruption today, Tony said that people around him are telling him to watch The Wire.

Happy New Year

Celebrate the new year by reading the collection of Pardon the Interruption quotes at imdb.com. They include:

Mike: Pardon the interruption, but I'm Mike Wilbon. Tony, I'm dressed like the man that says "Ho! Ho! Ho!".
Tony: Fred Smoot?

Mike: Pardon the interruption, but I'm Mike Wilbon. Tony, the Cardinals have chosen a new Pope. What do you think?
Tony: I'm Tony Kornheiser. Pope? I thought they'd at least get some starting pitchers...

Mike: Pardon the interruption. I'm Mike Wilbon and you'll have to pardon me today because I'm a little rusty after spending a month in Greece.
Tony: I'm Tony Kornheiser. Oh really? Were you in Olivia Newton-John's role?

Mike: Pardon the interruption but I'm Mike Wilbon. The Twins have had three straight shutouts! You surprised, Tony?
Tony: I'm Tony Kornheiser. Yeah, especially since Mary-Kate is on the DL
Mike: You are sick, sick man.

I Guess The Only Other Thing That Could Bring Cheer Would Be To See The Hot White Chick Bartender And A Hot Black Chick Customer Kiss Each Other On The Lips At The Bar ... Wait, Last Night Is Coming Back Into Focus ...

The Sioux collapsed in the third period last night and lost to New Hampshire. It looked like they might finally get a series sweep this season, but no.

What I needed to cheer me up by weekend's conclusion would be losses by the two teams I actively cheer against. The Vikings, of course, came up little and lost at Denver. Boy, they sure can run the ball on offense and stop the run on defense, can't they? Riggggghhhhht.

Even more unimpressively, the Gopher hockey team failed to beat the two Atlantic Hockey cream puffs they invited to their own tournament; losing to Rochester John Marshall Institute of Technology and tying Air Force. (A shootout win to award a third-place trophy doesn't count as a real win, so says the NCAA.) Gopher apologists will no doubt point to Kyle Okposo leaving to go pro plus the three players who are gone for the World Juniors ... but hey: it was RIT and Air Force. The RIT loss was especially glaring. According to the Strib:

RIT, a third-year Division I program without scholarships, had never played a WCHA team before. Never played on an Olympic rink.

Speaking of the World Juniors, we can now look forward to weeks of the Gopher faithful blaming any sub-par play on "being tired from World Juniors." Gopher hockey players are the only youngsters I know who suffer from jet lag for six weeks. And while I was ready to joke that at least they won't use the "team hasn't been the same since Tyler Hirsch left" excuse this season, the Grand Forks Herald's Sioux hockey beat writer points out how much Okposo's production diminished with Hirsch gone. So let's leap to the logical conclusion: If Hirsch wouldn't have been kicked off the Gopher squad last year, Okposo would have had a better year. This would have given him more confidence to become an even better player and team leader this season, meaning he would have fully committed to playing his full sophomore season. I hear the Gopher fans already: You ruined one season of Gopher hockey and might just ruin a second one. Damn you, Tyler Hirsch!

Happy Boxing Day

A Charlie Brown Christmas as performed by the cast of Scrubs.

Merry Christmas Everybody

Marah's Christmas album is certainly putting me in the holiday mood. Great songs and Ray Conniff Singers-like cornball dialogue, with a alchoholidays twist:

Say, did you know that "wassailing" is an old English term for a night on the town boozing it up with friends?

Hopefully I'll have time for Charlie Brown before I head to my sister's. Unfortunately, I won't make it to the Jewbilee tonight. I heard Sid Hartman will be there.

No Surprise Here

Once this afternoon's NFL games were completed, Purple faithful everywhere must have got a sinking feeling in the their stomach. Suddenly, if the Vikings won tonight, they were guaranteed a spot in the playoffs. Given the history of this franchise, the inevitability of the Vikings laying an egg was almost certain. And the result? Washington wins 32-21, and it was never close.

All-Pro fullback Tony Richardson lost yardage and was stopped for a safety. Tavaris Jackson showed himself for the mediocrity that he truly is. The Vikings' overrated defense did jack. The Purple couldn't run the ball, they couldn't stop the run. The Redskins stuffed the run, and were able to run the ball or gain yardage via bubble screens. (Something named) Todd Collins went 22-29 with two passing touchdowns.

So now for the Purple to make the playoffs, next week Minnesota must win at Denver and hope that Dallas knocks off Washington. Denver is never an easy place to win, and Dallas may be resting some starters now that they have home-field secured for the postseason.

The Minnesota Vikings: Tonight they were once again chokers on a national stage. Yep, the franchise has been restored.